Window To My Heart

The 'Hood - Part One Million

2007-04-23T20:37:00.000-04:00

Ahhhhh . . the weather has been so beautiful. I must admit that the arrival of spring is bittersweet for me. At the same time that I'm reminded of how awesome the sunshine feels on my face, I'm reminded of how much my neighbors hate me. I feel like I'm walking the halls of my high school when I go out my front door. When some of my neighbors are out, I endure dirty looks, cold shoulders, and stupid games. I hate it on Larch Street!! It's ridiculous. I try not to let it get me down, and I force myself to believe that I'm really not THAT despisable. When I'm outside, though, I usually feel like an idiot. So my spring project will be to construct a 50 foot wall around my house. I wish.

How well do you know me?

2007-03-11T21:34:00.000-04:00

Take my quiz!

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=070311195638-725466&

KATIE WROTE A SONG!

2007-02-21T15:38:00.000-05:00

I Believe

It's like I'm in a world

Where I'm on the ground

And can't get up

Nothin's catchin' me

Then I say

God if there is a God

Please help me

Then when I fall

Somethin' catches me

When I'm on the ground

Somethin' picks me up

Then I say . .

I believe

I'll believe

And I receive

So that I can be with you

I believe in You

Ohhh, yeah

I believe in You

I believe you will live forever

I believe you will help me

I believe you will pick me up

When I'm down

I know you will help me

Do your Holy work

And I say . .

I believe in You!

2007-02-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

"If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." ~Matthew 5:29-30

Today I made a move that I have been dreading, resisting, and excusing away for years. I gave my scale to Vicki so that I will not be tempted to weigh myself. This may sound silly, but after much consideration, I knew that the scale was the thing that caused me to sin and I needed to "gouge it out and throw it away." Quite a long time ago a trusted friend encouraged, even admonished, me to get rid of the scale. I said I could never do it. And I've absolutely refused to do so . . until now.

More than 10 years ago, I reacted to the number on the scale as well as the self-depricating thoughts that were louder than any voice I could hear, and I deprived myself of the food that my body needed. I would run like mad in 85 degree weather after eating little to nothing the entire day. I was a spiritual train wreck. After weeks of counseling with Pastor, I acknowledged that my behavior was sin and it desperately needed to be repented of. It was a slow process at first, but I've been "healthy" since that time. I have not chosen to deprive myself of food, and have honestly tried to make consistent healthy choices. I never, ever want to get back to that horrible place that owned me before I was married.

My biggest downfall is in my mind. I'm sad to admit that I obsess over my weight. More than sad is the fact that "obsess" is probably an understatement. Sometimes I think about nothing other than how much I'll weigh the next time I step on the scale, what I'm going to eat at my next meal, and whether or not I'll have time for a workout. I go through periods where I weigh myself every day, and sometimes more than once a day.

My eyes really opened after my tonsillectomy. Because of the surgery, I lost xx pounds and got a little excited because I was closer to that "magic" number I'd so love to see. I knew how I lost what I did. I also knew it would be unhealthy to stay that course. But my mind has been obsessed. I've been impatient, easily frustrated, and somewhat depressed because my main agenda has been my weight, and woe to the person who has gotten in my way. I remembered my friends voice and her wisdom that was rooted in personal experience . . and personal victory! I knew the scale had to go.

Now it's gone. I can't weigh myself. When we went to Clint's parents for dinner last night, he hid their scale so I couldn't step on. I won't know what I weigh, therefore I'm forced to be healthy. I won't know if I gain a little, so I won't feel like I must lose weight now, and I won't know if I lose a little, so I won't fall into the trap of wanting to lose more.

Let me just say that this struggle of mine is a problem. It's been a problem for as long as I can remember, and will probably never be a non-issue. I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but in my mind I had and have one. I believe fully that it's sinful to act on the temptations that surround the disorder, and that is why I took this bold step. For me, it is bold, and I pray that it brings more healing, health, and a closer walk with God.

I hope that my honesty is not a stumbling block for anyone. Instead, I hope it urges my readers toward Christ, and even challenges others to get rid of any known sin that is hindering a close walk with God. Sometimes we must first deal with the temptation in order to avoid the sin. I challenge you to look closely at your heart and life and honestly confront the uncomfortable areas. Don't be afraid to do something bold, and gouge out and throw away anything that causes you to sin. I can say from my personal experience that it brings peace.

2007-02-12T21:46:00.000-05:00

As you've probably noticed, I now have an account with facebook. If you don't have a facebook, you should! It's way better than myspace, blogger, etc., etc. But . . that's just my opinion! Still, I think you should be using facebook. For my less web savvy friends, facebook is super easy and self-explanatory, and if you sign up, I'll leave you lots of happy comments!

ANYWAY, today was the true test of how far I've come in my recovery. Man alive, it was a busy day!! I did tae-bo, straightened my house, washed and put away all of my laundry, cared for the little people, made dinner, went shopping for 2 hours, then to a youth leaders meeting tonight! I feel fine right now, so I think I'm good to go and possibly fully recovered. Ahhhhh.

Karlee was sick over the weekend - double ear infection, and a skin infection on her cheek. She was coughing pretty much nonstop. She, too, is doing much better. For that, I'm so thankful!!

Well, tomorrow is another busy day, so I better rest up! Hope y'all are doing well!

Life Rolls Along

2007-02-03T17:24:00.000-05:00

I guess it's time for me to update this crazy thing!! I really need to change that picture, too. Soon, I promise! Well, I'm feeling much better! My throat is just a little sore, and I'm regaining my strength pretty well. I had planned to go to Katie's game today, and church tomorrow . . BUT . . Cuyler is sick. I may never be able to leave my house. (Actually, I went to the grocery store today. It was the first time I've worn shoes in two weeks!) Anyway, Cuyler has been sick since Thursday. Clint and I are pretty sleep deprived because we've been up with the boy a lot. I don't think any of us went to sleep until 5:00 a.m. Thursday night / Friday morning. Today we found out he has strep. You know, my favorite illness. Needless to say, I'm in super-hyper-paranoid mode around here. I've got disinfectant wipes in one hand, and a can of Lysol in the other. I realized that my voice works well enough for me to yell "Don't touch that!" if anyone nears an unsanitized surface. I'm a crazy woman for sure and for certain. I'm so afraid of two things: 1)Someone else will get sick in the next few days and I'll be trapped in this house for another week. 2)I, myself, will get strep . . and that will fuel the discouragement fire that is blazing within. I'm dreaming of lying on the beach with the blazing hot sun on my face, hearing the breaking of the waves, and feeling my body relax from head to toes........Ahhhhh.........

Day 10

2007-01-28T12:55:00.000-05:00

So, I'm entering my 10th day of recovery. The typical tonsillectomy recovery is said to be 10-20 days. I guess I should be feeling optimistic.

The scary thing to me is that there are these scabs that are supposed to fall off around the 10th or 11th day. Some people have lots of bleeding which requires medical attention. I'm a little paranoid about that; desperately hoping I don't bleed. I still have lots of pain in my throat and ears. That is getting discouraging. I don't want things to get a little better each day. I want to be all of the way better!! It's so hard to be patient. Talking is a chore. I can, but it hurts. I still whisper most of the time. My worst moments are in the middle of the night, and when I first wake up in the morning. My throat is dry then, so the pain is unbearable. After some pain meds and water, it usually eases up a bit.

Staying home from church today was depressing. As soon as Clint left, I went back to sleep and refused to wake up until 12:15. I didn't want to think about anything. I feel a little better now. I'm going to go take a shower, and hopefully have a comfy afternoon reading and whatnot.

Thanks for all of the cards, prayers, and well-wishes.

2007-01-24T19:31:00.000-05:00

First of all, I'll give a current update. Then if you'll excuse me, I'm going to rewind for . . oh . . say . . a year. I will give you credit for being a trooper if you're able to stay awake for this entire spillage of thoughts. (Yes, I think "spillage" may actually be a word!)

Sooooo, 7:37, Wednesday, January 24. News flash! I think I may live! I'm still in bed, and in considerable pain, but I'm seeing ever so slight improvements. I'm forcing myself to eat because I'm so hungry, but oh man, that kills. I'm still not talking much, and my jaw and ears still hurt. BUT I no longer feel like someone beat my head, neck, cheeks, jaw, ears, etc, etc with a baseball bat. I'm not throwing up. And I laugh occasionally. Vicki says I look better. Based on the picture to the right, you may disagree. Just use your imagination, then, to feel sorry about how I've looked the past 5 days.

In all seriousness, God is good. He's loving me through this recovery, and giving me sweet blessings along the way. I've sensed His presence, and the love of my dearest Clint, as well as other family and friends in the worst moments. I've also been comforted by the scripture verses that float through my heart. Please allow those thoughts to be a bridge to another subject that has been consuming my thoughts and drawing me nearer to the heart of God.

In a nutshell, 2006 was stressful!! Granted, it wasn't always bad stress, but it was stressful indeed. It was at this same time (if I'm correct in my thinking, almost to the day!) that my brother made a choice that led to all kinds of trouble. That was probably the most emotionally distressing experience of my life. My heart was broken into a million pieces, and it wasn't going to go away overnight. Now I know that it won't go away for about 7 years, as my brother's incarceration is a daily burden that I must bear.

This is a side note, but before I started thinking about the year as a whole, I was thinking about how bad things always seem to happen in January for me. My kids will inevitably catch a virus in January that lasts until May, Amber committed suicide in January, Cuyler was in the PICU in January, my brother stumbled in January, and now I'm recovering from this nasty surgery IN JANUARY!! Next year I'm seriously ripping the 'January' page out of my calendar!

Anyway, After those agonizing months of my brother's arrest and all, I had several moles found to be pre-melanoma. Not a big deal, really, but I had to get 3 removed. That was mostly a hassle, slightly worrisome for someone like me, and frustrating because I couldn't work out for 4 weeks at a time.

About a month after the mole thing, I got strep throat for the first time. Again, not a big deal, but after 8 episodes of strep, I had been emotionally and physically drained. In the midst of that, was eager to run competitively in the Labor of Love Run. So I set out training with a bit too much zeal, and injured my leg. I was taking a day or two off for strep throat here, strep throat there, and my body was taking a beating from the recurrent illness. My leg injury was also setting a serious limitation. And I was already not in my best shape because of the time I took off for the moles. Sooooo, I disappointed myself big time in the running area. I was able to move on quickly, but it was something that meant a lot to me.

Also going on at the same time was Clint's need to make a decision about whether or not to accept the job at Smucker's. He was interviewing lots, and agonizing over the decision because it was something that would affect our finances, schedule, and several other things in the future. I also had some friendship issues that brought lots of ups and downs, there was the common stress of wanting to be a good wife and mom, as well as keeping up with the every day grind.

If you're still reading, I love you! Okay, so I've had my share of stress by January (at least I think so) and BAM . . hello tonsillectomy! You can read my previous three posts to see how I have (or haven't) dealt with that. I really didn't intend for this to become a big pity party. The cool thing is that through all of the trials, I was always aware of God's sovereignty and goodness.

I have been captivated through the years by hymns like "Be Still My Soul" and "Near to the Heart of God." I love the thought of a truly still quiet heart before God Almighty. Astrida gave me some quotes applicable to my place right now, but I think they're an awesome closing to the year:
"Make me to climb, even when I lie down." ~Amy Carmichael
"Laid aside by illness, or called aside for stillness."
"Oh, what wonderful, wonderful rest, trusting completely in Jesus I'm blest.
Sweetly He comforts and shields from alarms, holding me safe in His mighty arms."

As I've been in bed for a week now, I've had plenty of time to contemplate stillness even further. I beg God to continue pouring insight into my heart! I've taken time to consider why it's so difficult to allow our hearts to become completely still and quiet. (That's another novel) More than anything, I've been able to move closer to the heart of God. I'm learning what that really means. And it truly has nothing to do with lists, agendas, or even a neatly outlined Bible study course. It has nothing to do with candles, a cup of coffee, and a quiet house. (My "perfect" quiet time) It has nothing to do with perfection. Nothing to do with appearance. Nothing to do with people. It has everything to do with Jesus Christ. Along with that, everything to do with the heart.

A heart that is bowed down.
A heart that reveres the Lord God.
A heart that is still.

Make me to climb, Lord Jesus, make me to climb.

2007-01-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

I'm trying really hard to not be depressed. I am. It's all so BLAH right now. I want to get better, but every day feels a little worse. After I took a shower today, I was weak and dizzy. My stomach is growling because I'm so hungry, but I can't eat. I tried to eat some soft foods for dinner today, but I felt like crying because it was so miserable. My jaw feels locked. I can't open more than a tiny bit, so I still can't talk. I don't want visitors because I hate not being able to talk, so that leaves me mostly alone. With the exception of the 2 or 3 people who get to see me in my state of misery. For example, Vicki saw me pour chicken broth all down the front of myself today. Nice. A lot of the time she gets to just sit and stare at me. I have these big long stories in my head that I want to tell her, but I get frustrated when I try to whisper them out. So, yeah, she gets to stare at me. What's really hard is not being able to talk to my kids. I can tell they feel uncomfortable around me. I did ask Cuyler to come read me a book, so I think he's going to snuggle up soon. When I went downstairs at dinnertime, Karlee was yelling "Mommy's down . . Mommy's down . . Look, Sissy, Mommy's down!" She probably thought it was one of those miracles like she learns about in Sunday School. Well, if I ever get better, it will be a miracle. I'll be singing and dancing and praising God.

Okay, I'll stop.

2007-01-21T17:09:00.000-05:00

This sucks. It really does. The pain just keeps getting worse. If I could, I'd scream like crazy. I can barely open my mouth wide enough to get a little jello in, so talking -let alone screaming- is completely out of the question. I hate not being able to talk. Now it hurts to whisper, too, so I can't interact with people at all. And it's not just my throat that hurts. It's my ears, jaw, tongue, and neck, too. I can't stand it. I've tried to be calm and tough, but I must admit, all of the pain is really getting to me. I seriously feel like I'm never going to get better. That's so discouraging, but I can't cry, because that hurts . . of course. I'm supposed to drink tons of cold water to aid the healing. You might as well just shove a knife down my throat.

ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

Unfortunately, this probably won't be my last venting period.

My Voice

2007-01-20T19:16:00.000-05:00

Yes, this is my voice at the moment because I cannot speak above a whisper. Clint brought his laptop to our bedroom so that I can e-mail my parents and blog for a bit.

If you have been praying for me, thank you very, very much. I have needed, and will continue to need your prayers. The surgery went well yesterday, but the hours that followed were agonizing. I can say with all honestly that I felt worse than I ever, EVER have all day yesterday. I have a history of migraines, but yesterday I had the worst headache of my entire life. I don't even know how to explain it, but I thought I was going to die. Around 4:00 the headache reached a peak and I threw up. That continued for the next 5 hours until Clint took me to the emergency room. I was dehydrated and jittery and basically just a mess. They took me back right away and started an IV. After a boatload of medicine to stop the nausea and headache, I felt much better and was able to go home.

Today was better although my throat is sore, sore. Compared to yesterday, though, it's okay. I can't talk, and it kills to swallow, but at least I don't feel like I'm dying. I know this is going to be a long, painful recovery. That makes me a little sad because I just want to get back to life. I haven't been able to focus much up to this point, but I hope that I can spend the next couple of weeks drawing close to the Lord. I don't just want to stay in bed. I want to make the most of my time, and I hope the Lord will refine me as He sees fit. It's a little strange being quiet all of the time, but perhaps that's exactly where the Lord wants me right now. Quiet and still before Him.

This too shall pass.

2007-01-10T21:01:00.000-05:00

So, on the way home from church tonight, Cuyler blurts out "I might be a robber when I grow up . . I might be a missionary when I grow up." Okay, I'm confused.

Anyway, can I get a hoo-rah? Thank you. I finished 3 straight weeks of teaching at youth night, and now I can breathe. I seriously get nervous when I have to teach!! Thanks to the group for the big hoo-rah at the end of my devotions. And thanks to the right side of the room for boosting my self-esteem! "I like your sweater, Kristen." "Kristen, I like your hair." I'm not sure if the "You're gorgeous" and "I want to be you" statements were for effect, but I'm claiming them as compliments. Maybe I shouldn't give up teaching, after all.

Oh, and to all you witty girls . . anyone who brings me a burp cloth or baby spoon when I get my tonsils out will be repaid at some point in your lifetime. AND if I do end up a vegetable, one certain little chica can believe she jinxed me, and is responsible for pushing me around in my wheelchair and wiping my mouth with that little burp cloth. No really, I love you girls, but please don't kiss me on the lips. I've got my mister, so I don't need sisters. Hehe

Okay, this is a completely pointless little rant. I better go post it before I change my mind!

Tootles.

i meant to say WARRIOR princess!

2007-01-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

yes, mommy, i AM a princess!

2006-12-27T17:03:00.000-05:00

Hiking Pics!

2006-12-10T15:14:00.000-05:00

This is me on the way up to Rainbow Falls!

Clint and I at Rainbow Falls!
Brrr!! On the way down from Rainbow Falls!

When the going gets tough, the tough hit the trail!

2006-11-25T09:45:00.000-05:00

I love, love, LOVE Gatlinburg! Hiking in the Smokies is the most awesome experience! Yes, Clint and I had a fantabulous trip last week. We left Sunday morning for our 9 hour drive to Tennessee. We love to pull out CD's that we haven't listened to in forever and sing along the whole way. This, of course, includes some country music to get us in mountain mode. The best part of the trip is in Virginia when we start to see signs for places we'd like to visit someday: It begins with "Rural Retreat" which Clint says for like a half hour after we see the sign. "Wural Wetreat.... Rrrrrrrural Rrrrrrrreatreat ... on and on..." Then there's "Chilhowie." Howie was obviously a very intense guy. And the winner is ... "Hungry Mother State Park." What?? It doesn't take much to amuse us, so we laugh all the way to the Tennessee border!

This year we decided to stay at a hotel in the heart of Gatlinburg instead of a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It was a nice change. Sunday night we ate at a little Mexican cantina, and once again we were amused because our waiter was either gay, or foreign .. or both. I was going to ask him, but Clint didn't think that was a very good idea.

Anyway, Monday was cold and a little wet, but we decided to hike because we're tough like that. We chose Rainbow Falls which was a five and a half mile hike. It was a popular hike that day, so we passed lots of interesting people. Most of them commented on our Buckeyes attire, which we wore with pride. My favorite guy passed and simply said "Happy Trails." That was awesome. There was a group of 25 men who were hiking to the top to spend the night. They were Christians and were our friends on the hike. :) They invited us to spend the night at the top with them, but we told them we were happy with our hotel at the bottom. There were some sissy people on the trail, too. A couple of teen-age girls who Clint called "Mary Kate and Ashley." And one woman who was so disgusted with the hike because her husband obviously forced her to go. We passed her family at one of the log bridges (which took her and her son like a half an hour to cross.) Clint was explaining the rest of the hike to her husband and she piped in: "Are y'all telling me there's another one of the dag blasted bridges to cross?!" Clint thought that "dag blasted" was the coolest thing ever. Well, after we got to the falls and turned around, in began to snow furiously. So we were COVERED with snow and my hands were so cold that I couldn't bend my fingers. I will post some pictures soon!

Monday night we went to a huge aquarium. There were sharks .. ooo .. ahhh .. it was swwweeeeet! Cuyler would go crazy there, and I kept saying that I wished we could "beam" him in. You know what that means .. another Gatlinburg trip is already in the works, kids included.

Tuesday's hike was more remote. We passed very few people and it wasn't as cold or snowy. There was some sunshine, so we had incredible views. That was an eight and a half mile hike and it made my legs hurt. There were at least two miles of steep uphill to climb and this time I was the sissy because I almost cried. It was very cool, though. I thought that we might see a bear on this hike because it was a less traveled trail. Clint carried some rocks in his pocket just in case. But .. no bears. I did see a sparrow and a grasshopper, though. :)

Wednesday morning we went shopping, then to Ruby Tuesday's for lunch, and headed for home. The trip was uneventful and I slept much. Clint and I also had a nice long chat about my spiritual life, and he did his best to whip me into shape. That's another post, so I'll sign off for now.

I hope y'all had a nice Thanksgiving!! If you're fellow Ohioans, enjoy this beautiful weather! Oh, by the way, we took the kids hiking yesterday because they wanted in on the action. It's in their blood! I can't wait to take them to the Smokies!!

HAPPY TRAILS!

2006-11-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

BUCKS!!

WOOHOO!

2006-11-14T09:20:00.000-05:00

"I don't think it bothers the world that we sin. I think it bothers the world that we act like we don't. There are times that instead of being myself and exposing my own weakness and hurt, I portray a character of the person that I know I should be. But when I expose myself as weak and frail at times, it frees the Body of Christ to restore me as it should and invites others to unmask as well." ~ Casting Crowns

STAINED GLASS MASQUERADE

Is there anyone that fails / Is there anyone that falls / Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
'Cause when I take a look around / Everybody seems so strong / I know they'll soon discover / That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay / If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too / So with a painted grin, I play the part again / So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people / Under shiny plastic steeples / With walls around our weakness / And smiles to hide our pain / But if the invitation's open / To every heart that has been broken / Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there / Are there any hands to raise / Am I the only one who's traded / In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing / And we know every line by heart / Only when no one is watching / Can we really fall apart

But it would set me free / If I dared to let you see / The truth behind the person / That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open / Or would you walk away / Would the love of Jesus / Be enough to make you stay

Yes, I'm struggling. I guess that if I'm being completely honest, I must admit that I've struggled for quite some time. Spiritually, I mean. But, if I'm struggling spiritually, then every aspect of my life is affected. I haven't sinned in an obvious way, but it's there. It's the sin of not feeling, and standing on the fence. It's the offense of going to church, teaching studies, reading my Bible and totally not relating to God.

This all became quite obvious to me last Friday after the ladies retreat. I had a great time. It was soooooo much fun, and I laughed pretty much nonstop. On the way home, though, I fell apart because I had to face the fact that I had spent the past day and a half in my own spiritual desert. The music was beautiful, but I was unmoved. The speaker was excellent, but I was uninterested. The topic and scripture were relevent, but I applied nothing. I found out some disappointing news while at the retreat, and I never prayed. I was surrounded by Christian women and I never reached out. Instead I allowed myself to be bothered, judgemental, and angry. Yes, I had a fabulous time .. but I didn't do one thing to honor Christ.

What is dragging me down, still, isn't the fact that I "do" nothing. There are times when I "serve" and say it's for the "glory of God." It's awful to realize deep inside, though, that the times when I truly engage with God are far and few between. I don't pray. I honestly don't. There are several reasons, and I've analyzed .. and analyzed .. and analyzed those reasons. One reason is because I always feel like there's a long list of unconfessed sin in my life and by the time I do confess, I don't feel like praying anymore. I also just don't feel like I'm relating to God. I feel like I'm just talking, and usually making no sense at that. What kind of Christian doesn't pray?

So, you're probably thinking .. "Kristen get off of the computer, grab you're Bible, read and pray, trust and obey!" Yeah, I know the answers, and that's the advice I'd give someone too. Unfortunately, my heart is a desert land. I don't know what to do to make my heart desire Jesus, His word, and a consistent walk with Him. I absolutely don't want to be a woman who doesn't walk with God, but isn't that what my lack of desire is anyway? I'm growing more disgusted with myself with every line I type.

So .. I will smile my happy plastic smile.

I will struggle.

This & That

2006-11-03T08:42:00.000-05:00

So it seems to me that blogspot is becoming old news. Not a lot of posts anymore. :( I guess that Myspace is all the rage. I think I'm too old for Myspace, though, so I'll stick with my old fashioned blog. You can def find out some interesting things about people and their friends by reading Myspace comments ... ;)

A few people have asked me for a neighbor update. Not a lot has changed. The kids are allowed to play together, and they all seem very happy about that. Both mom's who were involved have made it quite clear how they feel about me .. and, believe me, they won't be joining my fan club anytime soon.

No, I don't really have a fan club. Surprise! In fact, it seems that these days I'm acquiring a longer list of enemies than friends. Two days ago I read an e-mail in which the signature was preceded by "Wishing you all that you deserve." They weren't well-wishes. Ouch.

If I can just respond to that one comment .. I already do have all that I deserve. The Bible is full of promises and blessings that the Lord showers on His children. I experience so many of them every day. So, yes, I also wish myself all that I deserve. My life is, in fact, full to the point of overflowing.

Other news.. the weekend looks pretty relaxing. Actually, this whole week has been pretty relaxing. I've appreciated that as it followed a busy, busy last week and weekend. The retreat was fun, but wiped me out! Anyway, the kids are having friends over to spend the night tonight. We're going to make a fire in the fire place, order pizza, and watch a video. Shall be fun! I'm seriously looking forward to the women's retreat next Thursday. My friend, Chantelle, is coming with me! It's going to be awesome .. if your initials are VAK, I'm sure you could still get in under the wire.

Well, that's pretty much the scoop on my life. Well, there's tons more, but I can't type all day!

Rake up a huge pile of leaves and jump in them today!! It's great therapy!

In The 'Hood

2006-10-01T20:10:00.000-04:00

Well, Clint and I have shared some info about our current neighborhood strife. I say "current" because it's unfortunately not the first situation we've had to endure. I thought I'd post about what's going on and how it's affecting me.

Two Friday's ago (the same afternoon I woke up from a day in bed dealing with another strep occurance .. yes, ugh!) I felt that a few of the boy's were slightly unkind to Cuyler when he got home from school. I was frustrated because it had become an almost daily snubbing. Cuyler seemed oblivious most of the time, but it bothered me. Partly because it was just wrong, and partly because I spent the better part of my summer allowing the same children in our yard, in our home, to eat our food, as well as going out of my way to make sure everyone was included, played with, and treated fairly.

Five minutes later, the same boys were asking Katie to come outside. There is a disagreement between what they said when asking her to come out, as well as what they said when she got outside. I do know that within a minute or two, Katie was crying and yelling at the boys. To the best of my understanding, the boys weren't being nice and bullying her. Sooooo, I stuck my head out the door and told the boys to get out of our yard, stop being bullies, and I told my kids to stay inside. I'm also being accused of slamming my door. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't .. to be honest, when you close our door, it always sounds like it's being slammed. Well, yes, I wasn't feeling well, and I was frustrated with the situation, and I reacted. I don't think I really did anything "wrong," but it wasn't typical of me, and it's getting a lot of attention.

The neighbor kids -which represent to seperate families, where the mom's are sisters- are not allowed to play with our kids. (It also seems that they have been instructed to glare at me.) Anyway, Clint has made several attempts to smooth things over. One of the times he went over, though, the mom said she was "busy" and wouldn't come out. The big event was Thursday when that same mom told Clint I was "unbelievably cruel" and she's so "angry that it just blows her mind." The other mom paid me a little visit and I envisioned my face being smashed in, but I was able to quickly say "okay" and dash inside.

Thursday was truly awful. I cried almost all evening. I was so depressed when I woke up Friday morning, that I just wanted to move. Clint and I have two different ideas about how to handle the situation, and sometimes I feel so alone. It's like every time my kids want to play outside, or I go outdoors myself, those two mom's are there .. hating me. They've laughed at me in the past, and on Thursday they openly made fun of Katie when she was riding her bike. The mom who confronted me said that my kids are just as bratty as any of the kids on the block, and I never even said anyone was bratty! It makes me feel so inferior, and I always feel like they're going out of their way to prove they're better than us. It's such a strange thing to know that someone is thinking badly of you, and openly making their thoughts and feelings known.

I hate it on Larch street right now .. and I want a bodyguard.

Surprise!!

2006-09-12T19:54:00.000-04:00

Okay, pick yourself up off the floor, and dust off your bucket. Yes, I'm updating. The kids are eating popcorn and watching Peter Pan, so I have a few moments to myself. Clint is at a meeting, and wouldn't skip even for the sake of my mental health. Thus, I write.

This has been a weird week so far. Scattered, unorganized, weird. I think the Lord is testing my flexibility, and if He chooses to stay that course, I'm going to be doing a full blown split in a matter of days. (Not literally, of course. I'd never walk again if that was the case.)

Guess what? I haven't had strep in 6 weeks. Along with that, I've aquired a new talent: gargling. I don't know if that's exactly what has kept me healthy, but hey, I'm not going to stop now. And now when I start to think I can't do anything really well, I remember that I can gargle so well that Clint is amazed. Yes, I am proud.

Speaking of not being able to do things well.. I pretty much crawled in the Labor of Love Run. No, really, there were some seriously fast chics out there. I finished the 5 miles in 43:30 or something, which I think averages to 8.6 minute miles. That was my personal best, so I should've felt good about it. Compared to the others, it just wasn't good enough, so I left crying. I'm taking a break from running to beat my time. If I run now, it's because I want to, and I'm mostly doing tae-bo. I've decided not to run in the marathon. In the scheme of things, it's so unimportant. Besides, a really cute (almost) 15 year old girl is having a birthday bash that night, and I so want my dancing legs to be ready to disco.

One last thing, since school has started, I've gotten much more disciplined in spending time with the Lord. That has been so awesome and refreshing. He's given me new perspective, new desires, and a confidence in Him that is growing deeper. I love the quiet time in the afternoon when Karlee naps. It is sweet time with my Jesus.

Well, Cuyler is endlessly asking for strawberry milk, so I better go. You know I'd be so happy to have lots of comments to read. :)

It's official .. I'm prissy!

2006-08-07T16:13:00.000-04:00

I'm home from our little camping adventure, which was quite fun. Since I had strep throat last week, I wasn't very motivated to get us packed and ready to go. I pretty much spent Wednesday making preparations.

The kids and I loaded up and rolled out at 10:00 a.m. Thursday. We met my parents and followed them to Mohawk Dam. Where is Mohawk Dam, you ask? Good question. All I know is that the campground had no showers, and I was amazed that people would actually camp there by choice. I was thanking my loving Jesus the entire time that we'd only be there for one night, and that staying in my parents camper felt like the Ritz Carlton. (Complete with a shower!) Well, the reason we were there was because my uncle was camping with his family. They had already been there for a week. (If you're thinking about the no shower thing, I was utterly baffled.) My kids had sooooo much fun with my uncle and his kids. My uncle Brian had the patience of Job as he literally entertained Katie and Cuyler non-stop. He took them swimming, fishing, hunting for arrowheads, and for a ride to see a neat bridge. I didn't have to answer any of Cuyler's questions for a whole day, but my uncle patiently met Cuy's need to know. As my dad and I were walking back to the camper from the river (where my kids were swimming with dogs - ewwww), we passed a rather "rustic" campsite. I saw a hot dog sitting under a ball cap (it was like 95 degrees), and had to figure it was being saved for a later meal. When I caught a whiff of raw sewage, I told my dad that I was just too prissy for Mohawk Dam campground! I spent more than my fair share of time in the Ritz, and allowed myself and my kids warm, soapy showers before bed. In spite of the back woods experience, it was very fun. I'm glad we were able to spend some time with my uncle and his fam.

We left Friday after lunch and headed to Mohican State Park campground. I let out a sigh of relief as we pulled in and it felt like Beverly Hills. We parked the camper and went straight to the pool. The pool was awesome, and there was a big kiddie pool which Cuyler and Karlee enjoyed. Clint arrived around dinner time. By the way, my parents bought the food for and made all of our dinners. They really made this camping trip easy on me! We played in the river in the evening, and said early good-nights because we were tuckered.

Saturday was a fun day of tubing in the river, swimming in the pool, riding go-karts, and eating ice-cream. The little ice-cream place had Reese's pieces blizzard-like treats, which you just can't find at DQ anymore, so I was elated!! The kids had a blast! I must say that I thought it was all pretty cool, too.

Clint and I got up and ran 8 miles on Sunday. Yep! 8 miles! That was new territory for both of us, but we accomplished our goal. It took us 1 hour and 20 minutes! Then we took one last tube ride down the river with the kids, packed up, and left for home! We stopped at Pizza Hut, which has become our tradition on the last day of camping.

It was a rather enjoyable mini-vacation, and I'd gladly do it again. I'm thankful for my parents and their willingness to share their camper, even though we pack the place out. Oh, I almost forgot to mention our entertainment for the weekend .. Karlee Grace!! She's quite the diva, drama queen, and sassy little 2 going on 20 girlie-girl. She had us laughing lots. Wish you could've been there to see/hear her drama. Oh my! Well, thanks for reading. Hope everyone's doing well!! Love to you.

MY THORN

2006-07-31T19:02:00.000-04:00

I have strep throat for the 4th time since March! Absolutely amazing .. completely ridiculous. I still ran 6 miles last night - so HA! to the strep bacteria that insists on invading my body!

"And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the GOOD of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

**It is this promise that makes me refuse to be discouraged**

# 103

2006-07-25T21:53:00.000-04:00

Okay, okay .. I'm posting!! Hope this makes y'all happy!! The problem is .. how in the world am I going to update on events dating back to June 22? Here's what I remember:

June 26-30 ~ VBS and packing for family camp and trip to NY. Busy, busy. VBS was fun and 3 girls in my tribe got saved. Woo!

July 3-8 ~ Camp Patmos family camp = 100% completely awesome. Everything about the week was sweeeeet. I was challenged to go deep in my relationship with God, and left with a desire to pursue Him more.

July 9 ~ Home for one day! Church, unpack, laundry, repack. Crazy.

July 10-14 ~ NY hanging with Clint's hillarious family. Very fun. They had me laughing so hard that I seriously almost passed out.

July 14-16 ~ NH visiting a friend from college. Ahhhh - way cool, refreshing, and New England beaches have the most awesome character.

July 17 ~ HOME SWEET HOME! What a great feeling.

I spent last week cleaning and catching up around the house. I very much enjoyed staying put.

Yesterday we had all new windows installed. I could write forever about the stinky day I had. Please just take my word for it when I say that one thing after another went wrong. At one point I just wanted to sit on the floor and cry. In the evening we dropped the kids off at Clint's parents to spend the night. (That ended up being a good thing since the window guys trashed my house and I've had lots of cleaning to do!!) Anyway, Clint and I were getting in the van to leave his parents when all of a sudden their neighbor boy, Danny, came dashing across the yard. Danny is Katie's age, he has Down Syndrome, and he is so sweet. Well, he was hiding something behind his back, and when he got to Clint he flashed his baseball trophy with the hugest smile ever. I asked him if I could see it, and he excitedly said "YES!," and ran to me with the trophy. He was so proud. It was just so sweet and adorable. I told Clint that just totally made my day! At this moment, Clint is examining every window in our house. They are all messed up. Boo. So much for trying a major home improvement project. Well, we can't take our windows to heaven anyway, right?

By the way, I "officially" began training for that marathon relay today. I pretty much stink at speedwork. And it's too hot to run. I had a leg injury, but Brittany Harrison told me about this great stretch, and it's doing much better. Sooooo, I'll press on.

I had dinner with some cool friends tonight. We went to Mariachi Loco's and it was mucho yummy. It mos def would've been complete if Liz could've been there to flirtaciously speak Spanish to the waiters. Hehe.

And just in case you'd like to know .. my birthday is on Thursday. :)

Cool Kids!

2006-06-22T16:03:00.000-04:00

Home Alone

2006-06-14T21:51:00.000-04:00

Guess what? This is my 101st post. Just thought I'd share. :) Well, the past two days have been quite eventful. My kids went camping with Grandpa and Grandma Eddy AND Grandpa and Grandma Adams. I felt a little sad when I sent them off on Monday morning. It was quite odd to think that they were going to be two hours away, and that the house was going to be so quiet. They had a wonderful time, though. I missed them, but I also got a lot done!!

The first thing I did after they left was go strawberry picking with Kristy Beth and my friend Sandy. Kristen and I had fun rhyming words and singing songs. We even found a spiritual application as we stood among the VINES. (Read John 15) I also came home with lots of yummy strawberries .. which Clint and I have nearly finished.

So, I dropped Kristen off and decided to go to Kohl's for the afternoon. I ended up going there and a bzillion other stores. That's all I'll say about that because the trip was pretty unsuccessful. Oh well!

Monday night was the girls' night out while Clint went off to his secret, suspicious dinner. He looked mighty fine, too, let me tell you. He was all decked out in his new suit .. woo ... hot. I had a blast with the girlies. I was just sooooo happy to be with everyone. It was a late night (for a thiry-something chic like me), and it's a good thing that Chantelle rode with me to take the Tallmadge girls home. I felt like I was going to fall asleep. Thanks to all you girlies who came. I love you!!

Most of the rest of my time has been spent cleaning my house. Oh, and Clint and I had a really fun date night last night. We bought some much needed new running shoes. Before we did that, we went running together. That's always awesome. It was so great to be with Clint and to have meaningful conversation. I love that I'm married to my best friend and that we have so much fun together.

The kids came home today. Yay! I missed them. My mom was telling me that Cuyler didn't want to leave because he loved it there. I thought "Nice, he's been gone for two days, and he doesn't want to come home." That's happened before, too. He's just too social to stay at home for long. WELL .. when he got home he gave me a big hug and I asked him if he missed me at least a little bit. He said "I missed you A LOT!" Then I heard him tell his friend, Ben, in the back yard "I missed my mom so much!" My heart melted to goo and my eyes got all teary. My little buddy does still love his mommy! And he didn't ask to go anywhere for the rest of the day. :) :)

2006-06-09T20:22:00.000-04:00

well, hello. i just got back from a run, and since i have a little burst of energy, i thought i'd blog for a few. it's a little chilly outside. northeast ohio weather completely confuses me, and makes my biorhythms go wacko. i don't know what biorhythms are, or how to correctly spell the word. my mother-in-law said it's why i get so tired when the weather is always changing. i thought i was just lazy, so i like the biorhythm idea better. anyway, the cool air made for a pretty good run. i didn't want to put forth the effort, but clint pretty much made me. he prompted me with this quote: "the pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret." so, yeah, that's very true.

i'm sure you figured that clint is safely home from kansas. he had a good trip, and i did well at home with the kiddos. i got a little grumpy sometimes when he'd tell me about his free time and good eats. i found it a little difficult to rejoice in his rejoicing, so to speak, when i was trying to hold life together here at home. i got over it, though, and had a good time with the kids. it is good to have my husband back by my side.

we slept with our bedroom window open last night, and i got like no sleep. i woke up to every little sound, and every once in a while peeked out the window. i kept having these creepy thoughts about what really happens in our neighborhood in the wee hours of the night. perhaps it's because on two seperate occasions, clint's car was nearly stolen from in front of our house. i heard the noise, and spotted the thugs both times. anyway, i've come to the conclusion that we need to get out of the ghetto.

a few more items to note: katie and karlee got their hair cut short, and both look fantabulous!! ** if you want to be a part of monday's girls night out, let me know, sista! *** i really love clint with all of my heart **** JESUS LOVES YOU xoxo

Boo-Hoo's part 2

2006-06-01T16:34:00.000-04:00

So, now Cuyler has strep. Timmy and Hannah spent the night last night, so we've probably passed the bacteria to their families, as well. I'm thinking that if all 3 of my kids are on anti-biotics BEFORE Clint leaves for Kansas, that would be helpful.

I'm in this yucky mood right now. I was going to run before dinner, but I seem to have lost my mojo, and I'd really like to go to bed. My house, which was supposed to get cleaner each day this week, is a wreck. I don't think it's ever going to be clean again, so I may throw away all of my cleaning supplies. Then at least I don't have to look at them and feel guilty that everything is unused. Karlee has a stinky diaper right now. That is another reminder that I'm supposed to start potty training her. After all, tomorrow is the last day of school (which is when I said I'd begin) and the potty chair is sitting in the bathroom. It's clean, at least. Because it, too, is unused. But at least something in this house is clean. I know I sound like one of those "glass half empty people," but sometimes there's just too much. On top on all of the to-do's, I have to keep all of the people in my life happy. Little and big, alike. Along with everything else, I tend to fail repeatedly. Last night at youth group, one of the girls said that she appreciates her mom because she's always in a good mood. I said.. "that's what my kids say about me too." I'm sure you sensed that.

Okay, so I better go tend to that stinky diaper and spray some lysol here and there. Tootles.

My Boo-Hoo's (bear with me)

2006-05-29T19:38:00.000-04:00

I decided to post just so that I wouldn't have 34 comments. It just took me like ten minutes to scroll down to see the latest comment, thanks to Roberto. Soooo .. today I was supposed to sleep in and have this awesome, relaxing Memorial Day, with a sweet run to boot. Instead I woke up at 6:30 and ate a popsicle because my throat was sore and I felt yucky. Later in the morning I noticed a red, spotty rash on my forearms, and figured I must have strep .. yet again. So I went to the med-center to get confirmation. Okay, so I just had strep 2 months ago. This is ridiculous. So .. no comfy sleeping in, no run, and all achy and feeling like I got hit by a train at our picnic. It's like Clint says "Sometimes ya gotta laugh to keep from cryin'." Only I'm not laughing. I guess it's better that I got sick this weekend instead of next weekend when Clint's in Kansas. Oh yeah, in case you haven't heard, he's going to Kansas again. Another ugh. Back for a happier post .. sometime.

So Cute!

2006-05-24T21:14:00.000-04:00

Look! It's the girlies at my bridal shower! From left to right: Emily, Elizabeth, Audrey, Kristen, and Becky. Awwwww!! I found this picture today and I thought it was especially appropriate because tonight I listened to Audrey and Elizabeth practice their song for Sunday. I was in awe of the beautiful young ladies they've become! It was so wonderful to sit back and listen to them sing. First of all, because they sound angelic. Also .. I've been dealing with some different emotions, and tonight I sort of felt like I was on "over-load." (Thanks Brittany R. for checking on me! love ya.) I just felt soooooo tired and on the verge of tears all night. The song that the girls are singing is one of my favorites. We had it sung at our wedding, and it really touched my heart tonight. It was comforting to be in God's house, with God's people, and just REST. I mentioned Audrey and Elizabeth... Emily, Becky, and Kristen are amazing, as well. I can think of many positive qualities that radiate from each of them. Emily is the sweetest, nicest, most peace-loving young lady I have ever known. I think of 'tranquility' when I think of Emily. Becky led the songs tonight and she did a FINE job. I enjoyed watching her in a position of leadership. She is a great encourager, and she gives awesome hugs! Kristen carries herself with grace, and has a servant's heart. She's a big sister to my girls, and like a little sister to me! Audrey can sing with the angels, but she's also sophisticated and mature. She's got a cool sense of humor, and I love that she's so approachable and concerned about staying above reproach. Elizabeth has a strong singing voice, too, (man, can she belt out the notes when she's not on the spot!) and she's also hillarious, kind, and did I say hillarious? My day is always happier when I see Liz. :) I love these girls. I can't believe they were so little and cute in my wedding, and now they're all gorgeous and adding so much joy to my life. Thanks for lifting my spirits tonight, y'all. xoxo

2006-05-23T12:00:00.000-04:00

This & That

2006-05-22T16:05:00.000-04:00

Yo! Just a really quick post before I have to get Cuyler ready for his t-ball game ..

Our camping trip to Salt Fork was fun! The group was a tad smaller than usual, and I think they were really quiet, but it was still a good time! Shane and Jessica were there with the twins, so my kids had fun playing with Jacob and "Vasanna." - That's what Cuyler and Karlee call her. It's so cute. Yesterday morning I saw Karlee and Savannah give each other a hug and kiss, then they were walking around holding hands! That was refreshing since their word of choice for most of the weekend was "MINE!!" Clint and I took an awesome hour long run up and down the hills of the park. That was great because we don't have many opportunities to run together. Due to some sprinkles of rain here and there, and the chilly temp's, we decided just to stay in my parents camper the whole time. That made the trip pretty relaxing. It was raining Sunday morning, so Karlee and I snuggled in bed. I drank a cup of coffee and we watched 'Finding Nemo.' Everyone else braved the rain, and I think they had lots of fun. :) All in all, it was good. I did miss the Hembree's, though. Ya'll better come next time!

Today was a big ol' laundry day. I'm almost finished, though, so yay! As I already said, Cuyler has a game tonight. I was planning to take the girls, but Katie hurt her ankle at school (just when it was starting to get better from last weeks sprain), so I may just stay home. We'll see.

I didn't write a lot about Noah on my blog, but thank you if you prayed for him and his family. Please continue to pray for his family. My heart breaks for them. There were lots of pictures of him at the calling hours, and it just made it so real. I don't think it was possible to walk through the room without being moved to tears. When I got back to my kids, I picked up Karlee and hugged her for about two minutes. It made me cry all over again because I remembered how blessed I am, and I just don't want to take my many, many blessings for granted.

Well, it's about time for me to sign off. Love to all. xoxo

2006-05-19T09:39:00.000-04:00

WOO!!

2006-05-13T14:33:00.000-04:00

I ran for an hour today!!!!!!!!!!

Extreme Makeover - Camp Patmos Edition

2006-05-07T13:21:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah, the work weekend was way fun from beginning to end. Audrey and Jimmy rode up with Clint and I, and Clint said it was a double car date or something. Jimmy kept me laughing the whole way. Audrey too. They're great. By the time we got to camp, it was cooollllld! We sat by the bonfire for a while and Elizabeth led us in song. hehe. I couldn't believe they knew the words to "Love Shack" .. I love that song. The best was Hand Jive, though. "slap, slap .. slice twice .. fist, fist .. hitch hike." I think those are the words. Anyway, it was amusing. After the bonfire we pretty much settled into our cabins for a good (or not so good) night of sleep. Breakfast was at 7 a.m. Yikes! Waaaayyyy too early!! We had our job assignments and were ready to work by 7:50. That means that myself and my little group of co-workers were standing in the middle of a somewhat empty swimming pool ready to scoop, scrub, and spray. It was crazy because we could see our breath because it was cold, but we got warm from working and just wore t-shirts. That's probably why I got so sunburned. It just never felt like it was warm enough to burn. I think the day went really fast. We had to carry the diving boards and bubble covers into the pool area. Well, the guys carried the diving boards. Elizabeth and I flexed our muscles and tried, but couldn't do it. It took like 6 of us to carry the covers. Elizabeth yelled "Who are we? BSBC!!" It was funny. For most of the morning I hauled wheelbarrOWs full of junk that got scooped out of the pool. That killed my forearms and I must have burned a lot of energy because I set some sort of world record at lunch. I ate 3 pieces of pizza, a taco salad, some of Elizabeth's chips, 4 candy bars, 2 cookies, and 1 piece of cake. It's true. I could've eaten more, too. After lunch I sort of rotated between pulling up buckets, pushing the wheelbarrOW, scooping scum, and power washing the pool. I told the girls that it was amazing that we got so used to the "water" that we were putting our hands in it by the end of the day. After all, we did find 5 alive salamanders, millions of tadpoles, several big dead frogs, a dead mouse, and a snake. Once Jimmy thought I found a duck, but I actually said "yuck." hehe. The snake actually ended up in my wheelbarrOW. It kept slithering up the side, and I had to slosh the water up to knock it down because I was afraid it might get too close to me. We did finish our job. That was satisfying. The pool was ready to be filled with clean water by the time we left. I was so proud of the whole group of BSBC teens. They all had positive attitudes and worked hard all day. It was awesome to watch them serve the Lord as they helped Camp Patmos get ready for another summer of ministry. I can't wait until Family Camp. Yay!! I love that place. Well, at the end of the day Audrey, Elizabeth, and I were the first to hit the showers. I can only imagine what kind of bacteria was on our bodies. Ewwww. I did my hair and make-up and packed up to leave a bit early with Clint. Sooooo it was a good time, and I'm glad we went. I LOVE YOU BSBC YOUTH GROUP!!!!!

I Loooooovvvvvvvveeeee Camp Patmos!!

2006-05-05T11:16:00.000-04:00

Woo! I'm leaving for Camp Patmos for the work weekend in 6 hours!! Even though we're going there to work, I'm still soooo excited just to be at the camp. I love that place. I love working there too .. especially when they give us the tough, physically challenging jobs. Shall be fun!!!!!

2006-05-03T16:20:00.000-04:00

After shopping for the better part of the afternoon on Saturday, I didn't want to come home and go for a run. I was pretty tired!! I went back and forth between "Maybe I'll run." ... "Maybe I won't." After a while I told Clint that I wasn't going to run because I'd rather rest. I felt guilty, though, because my plan for the day was to come home and run. If I'm serious about running in the Akron marathon, I need to be diligent about my running. Soooo, I went upstairs and changed. When I came down in my running clothes, Clint said "Now that's what separates the wheat from the chaff!" So on Monday night when I was very tired and wanted to do nothing but watch t.v., I remembered that I hadn't had a quiet time yet that day, and Clint's comment immediately came to mind. I had that same battle in my mind between deciding if I would make the effort or rest. I just kept hearing Clint say ".. That's what separates the wheat from the chaff." I realized that if I truly desired godliness in my life, as well as intimacy with the Lord, I needed to be as diligent about my Bible study and prayer as I am about pounding the pavement. Therefore, I spent time with Jesus. "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Cor. 9:24

ugh

2006-04-26T21:18:00.000-04:00

ya know what? this night just really stinks.

Katie has a BLOG!!

2006-04-22T20:08:00.000-04:00

www.jasperscatgirl.blogspot.com

YO!

2006-04-19T21:17:00.000-04:00

I really don't know what to write about, but I just feel like posting. :) At least I know that I won't have to say much to make this more exciting than Clint's blog. Hehe.

So.. today I went outside of my comfort zone and served up nachos to the kiddies at Katie's school. My friend Sandy asked me to do it with her, and I did it ONLY FOR her, but I actually had fun. Yay! It was mostly fun because I got to chat with Sandy for like two hours, but hey, that's cool. We also went out to lunch at Applebee's and then to Kohl's, and Sandy rocks. Really. She made me smile lots.

I also got my stitches out today and the hyper-active Dr. Fox sent me on my way free and clear for at least six months. That made me VERY happy. So, Clint and I are more seriously than ever considering running a half marathon in October. It's time to rock with the training. I figure I'm only getting older, so I better do it now, because I could be in a wheel chair soon. Ya never know, I may be in a wheel chair BECAUSE of running a half marathon, too. Either way, as Vicki so beautifully made clear tonight, it's what on the inside that matters. :) Sooooooo, what was my point? I don't know.

Anyway, we taped The Amazing Race tonight, so I'm going to watch that in a little bit. I'm like so crazy about BJ & Tyler, the hippie guys. I know I'm their biggest fan. After I run a half marathon, I'm going to compete in The Amazing Race. That would be so, so, so awesome.

Well, I'm outta here. Comment so I feel loved. xoxo

Clint has a BLOG!!

2006-04-18T13:21:00.000-04:00

www.clintsays.blogspot.com

It's an update!!!!

2006-04-05T21:15:00.000-04:00

Thanks to those of you who have been checking my blog for updates. I'm sorry that I've been silent. I was just thinking .. "So, why haven't I updated for like ever?" I don't know if I can explain it very well, but there are a few reasons. First of all, there are things going on in my life that just seem BIG and overwhelming, and writing about those things seems like an impossible task. Yet, writing about the trivial details of my day seems so unimportant in light of those other things. I've also been in some sort of "blue funk" (that means sad and depressed) and I haven't wanted to drag anyone else down or be a bad influence in any way.

In spite of my trials, life continues to roll right along. God has revealed His character and plan to me on several occasions, and it's refreshing to be drawn close to Him. I just started an awesome Bible study by Elizabeth George. It's called Loving God With All Your Mind. The book and study are having a major impact on the way I think. It's waaaayyyyy cool!! My thoughts have so often been untrue and have made me act in a way that doesn't please the Lord.

I've become aware of some of my weaknesses in different relationships and have taken steps to make things right with people. That has been quite liberating. I've also been talking to Clint and Vicki about the way I think about prayer. My prayer life has been hindered because of my false thinking, but I'm beginning to have a better understanding of what it means to relate to God through prayer. And I'm also learning what it means to sacrifice my pleasure to stay inside God's will. Yep, you probably guessed it ~ those stupid moles that I've had removed. (3 in 5 weeks!) I reacted (and I mean REACTED) when I was told that I couldn't work out. Wow!! I've had to think about all kinds of things, and work through about a million emotions related to that area of my life. I'm still standing before God unable to answer if I will completely surrender all. BUT He's working .. and refining .. and oh yes, I will have to answer.

On the lighter side, I've been somewhat reaquainted with like one of my most favorite women EVER!! Her name is Judy. She's a friend from college, and she was an awesome, fun, honest friend who had a huge impact in my life. Anyway, we may be going to New Hampshire in July to visit her family. That is swwweeeet!!!!!!!!!

Tonight I sat by Jimmy, Audrey, and Elizabeth at youth night. You guys are some cool kids. I smile nonstop when I'm around you. Also from youth night: Jimmy tied Mahogony's shoe and that was so sweet, and there was an agreement that Bobby will make an awesome husband someday. Oh, and Vicki taught beautifully from the book of Esther. Guess what? When I was physically and emotionally drained the other day, Vicki let me rest my head on her lap and we just talked and talked until I felt better. She rocks. That was a side note, but I do enjoy listening to her teach from the book of Esther. She really makes God's word interesting and applicable.

Yeah, so I'm thinking I better start blogging more often because this little post is turning into a novel. I need to go ice my wound and eat some popcorn and go to bed. Nighty. xoxo

STILL THE CROSS

2006-03-23T09:16:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it seems the world's unraveling around us
We fear it all may one day come undone
We can't forget the One who came before us
To forgive the past and bring hope for what's to come

When it all comes crashing down
The cross still stands alone
And on this our faith is built
And our courage is made strong

When the world falls apart
And you fear for your heart
There's a tower of peace
It's still the cross

So bring your sick and your poor
And your longing for more
To the place of relief
It's still the cross
There is hope for the lost
It's still the cross

Sometimes it seems that I have been forgotten
I don't know how I will make it on my own
But the One who said I will never be forsaken
He still hears my prayer and I will never be alone

Though the world may not confess
You and your holiness
One day all will see
You in all Your majesty
And the cross will stand alone
As the place where You made known
Your love for all mankind
Till then in it we'll hide

~FFH

Pressing on..

2006-03-01T12:20:00.001-05:00

Well, this week has been much less eventful for me. I think I'm slowly accepting the situation concerning Jason as the truth continues to sink in. We've had some contact with him, so I feel better knowing that he's okay and dealing with everything. Right now I just feel so tired physically and emotionally. I'm not very good company, for sure. I don't feel too chatty or fun. (Becks .. I promise that your happy youth leader will be back soon!!) My kids have been great. Because of them, I HAVE to keep pressing on. Yesterday Cuyler and I were playing dodge ball (yes, inside the house. no, nothing got broken - but that was a miracle!) and he enthusiastically said "You are the best mommy in the world!" That was awesome. I also appreciate the encouragement from others. My girlies have rocked as I've been soooo covered with their love. Visit Emily's blog and read the poem she wrote. It's so sweet! I'm looking forward to this weekend at Skyview. We've had a hard time deciding whether or not to go. The only thing that makes me want to go is having that time with the girls. Yes, it shall be fun. For now, I better go see that Karlee finishes her lunch so I can put her down for a nap, and spend my time with the Lord. Much love. xoxox

Processing ..

2006-02-25T13:56:00.000-05:00

Thanks to those of you who are praying for Jason. I go back and forth between being so angry (not really at him, but more at the situation), and sometimes I just feel numb thinking he made his choice and now he has to pay the price, then I feel this deep sadness that I don't think I've ever felt before. The day always seems to get better as it goes on. Mornings are definitely hard. When I wake up, the first thing I remember is what's going on with Jason, and I have to go through the process of believing it's true, and dealing with what it means for the future. I wish my mom and dad didn't have to go through such agony. They don't deserve to pay for Jason's mistake. I know they'll be okay, with God's help, but it's not fair. For the first time in my life, for four months, I had a brother. We shared interests and jokes, he picked on me, he befriended my children and my friends, and now he's gone. I'll get to see him once in a while, but the fun-loving, playfullness with be replaced with seriousness and a solemn demeanor, and the light, free-spirited outlook will be replaced with heaviness. I know. We've been through it before. Sometimes I don't think I'll be able to go through the years, especially because I'll always know what he had .. and lost. Remember: your choices affect more that just you, and one choice can change your life forever. We must keep our eyes on Jesus and obey Him no matter the "cost." Jason could've lost his friends, but he lost his life instead.

"This was the worst day of my life..."

2006-02-22T21:23:00.000-05:00

She's only lived seven years, but if you had seen Katie cry, you would've believed that she meant what she was saying. I wonder if Jason knows how many people are grieving right now. I'm pretty sure that he would never expect Kristen Keys to cry because she feels like she lost a friend. I keep feeling like Jason died. We got so used to him dropping in now and then, and spending every Wednesday with us. (And I had almost gotten used to the noise and activity level from my kids when he was around.) Now .. quite likely for a long, long time we cannot expect him to be a part of our everyday life. It is like he died because we don't have him anymore. He's got to be suffering right now. I can't stand to think about it. In my personal quiet times I've been studying the attributes of God. I'm so thankful for the scripture that captivated my heart before I heard about Jason. God is my Rock, Fortress, Deliverer, Shield, Stronghold, Refuge, Strength, Ever-present help, and Hope. If you think about what each of those words means, it is really quite awesome. I pray that Jason is taking refuge in his God even now as I write this. Here are two amazing verses from Psalm 18: "With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." Ps. 18:29 "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights." Ps. 18:32,33 I feel like this post is .. I don't know .. unorganized. That's how I've felt all day. Just blah. I know that God is in control, and it will be okay. I just feel so sad. Thank you, friends, for all of the support and hugs. You know who you are. :) xoxox

Will You Be My Valentine, Clint?

2006-02-14T17:55:00.000-05:00

She

hadn't realized

that there

were still

knights

in shining armor

running around

these days...

until she found him.

Thou wowest me!

Updation

2006-02-08T13:33:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Liz, I don't know if that's a word or not, but I stole it from you anyway! Time for a little update from yours truly:

Last Friday - Evening at the Eddy's to celebrate Karlee's birthday .. left grouchy and was pretty rude on the way home.
Saturday - Andrew's basketball game ~way cool~ .. tae-bo (Billy bands = ouch!) .. evening at the Adams' for Ryan's birthday ~Yummy dinner, scrumptious dessert, and fun with the fam~ .. once again left grouchy and was rude on the way home .. cried in the dark while on the phone with Vicki.
Sunday - Emotional build up led to an emotional breakdown .. pretty much spent the day crying or sleeping.
Monday - Woke up with a fresh perspective, and deeply thankful for the love of Christ .. tae-bo .. cleaned. (A clean house just makes everything feel better.)
Tuesday - Cleaned again .. got ready for Karlee's party .. absolutely adored my little diva while she "oooed" and "ahhed" her way through her party .. much needed alone time with Clint.
Wednesday - Karlee is two!! Enjoying my (fairly) clean house, loving my family, and looking forward to teaching tonight!

That's about it, I guess. Feels good to smile from the inside. Jesus refreshes my heart.

AWESOME!!

2006-02-02T09:42:00.000-05:00

I copied this from Hayley's blog ~ It makes me smile.

"Woooo so then i came home and ate some FOOD!!! then i did some homework and went to liz's church with her. They played dodge ball and we sung some songs :) and liz sang and she has a beautiful voice :)))and then they talked about the holy spirit and like i really like i dunno got it! so then after they talked kristen asked me if i had like accepted jesus in my heart and stuff and i was liek no...so i did that she told me some stuff and liek wow it was awesome like i feel awesome!!! like wow...just like i feel so great!! liz says "I got saved"!! and alot of the people there told me this was the most important decision of my life and like wow..i'm way glad i made it before it was too late!!

hayley :D"

2006-02-01T21:16:00.000-05:00

Tonight there's a party in heaven and all the angels are singin' "Woooooooo!!"

**In honor of Hayley.**

Woo!

Untitled :)

2006-01-26T20:51:00.000-05:00

Clint asked me today, "Are you EVER going to post on your blog AGAIN?" I told him that I don't have anything to write about, but I thought I'd post just for fun. Cuyler was very sick with strep throat this week. It was awful. I felt soooo bad for him. I could tell that I was getting strep, as well, but I started an antibiotic right away so I'm doing much better already. So that's pretty much been my life this week. I'm looking forward to getting out of my house, even though the highlight is driving Katie to school tomorrow. Clint said I should go to the Y to work out, but the Firestone Park Y got all new machines, so I'm kinda intimidated. I'm just sticking with Tae-bo until Clint can teach me how to use everything. Anyway, Clint got me this Tae-bo dvd, and you use resistance bands .. "Billy bands" .. with the workout. It's sooooooo hard. I thought I was going to collapse when I did it last Saturday. I still love working out with weights, but those bands kill! So, yeah, that's about it. I really wish I had something exciting to write about. God is GOOD!! He loves me!! He gives me JOY, and STRENGTH, and PEACE everyday. I'm learning and growing, and eternally forgiven. THAT is exciting!!!!!! I do love my Jesus. Have a happy day!! :)

"As a reflection of God's glory, why not:

2006-01-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

Resolve never to worry about 'self'-worth, but instead

Rejoice in your worth in God and your likeness to Him.

Resolve never to criticize or downgrade yourself, but instead

Rejoice that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

Resolve to seek a deeper relationship with God and to

Rejoice that He is near to all who call upon Him (Psalm 145:18).

Resolve to walk by faith paths you may not understand and to

Rejoice in the promise of His nearness as He directs your way.

Resolve to live each day as a child of God through His Son, Jesus Christ, and to be a reflection of His glory, and

Rejoice that, as one of God's chosen your name is written in heaven (Luke 10:20)!

Resolve to spend time communing with God on a daily basis through prayer and the study of His Word, and

Rejoice in the strength He gives for each day and the hope He offers for all your tomorrows!

Resolve to reflect His glory and, dear one,

Rejoice in His love."

~Elizabeth George from The Remarkable Women of the Bible

Words of Wisdom :)

2006-01-15T22:41:00.000-05:00

"Being liked shouldn't be super high on our priority list. Treasure your true friends. The rest, just enjoy the opportunity to love them, no strings attached." ~Clint

"Sometimes you need to stop looking at people, and just look at Jesus." ~Vicki

Good advice. But I still worry a lot about what people think of me. It makes me tired.

Tehehe

2006-01-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

MARLENE: I'm having a "Jockey" party at my house, if you'd like to come.
KRISTEN: Yeah, that sounds awesome.
MARLENE: I thought that with the new shape of your butt, you could use some underwear.

Can't Sleep!

2006-01-11T23:56:00.000-05:00

Very rarely do I have this problem, but I just can't fall asleep! I think I drank way too much coffee today. I feel sleepy, but I keep thinking about things, and it's keeping me awake. My mind is skipping from, how do I "hide" my identity from my secret sister .. to .. Oh no! Katie went to bed with a headache, and the last time she went to bed with a headache, she spent the entire night throwing up .. and then onto .. Why do I complicate things so much? I know that I'm a completely frustrating person sometimes .. la .. la .. la. Well, time to go count sheep. Nighty. (I hope)

OUCH!!

2006-01-08T21:32:00.000-05:00

So, I went to the med-center today because I've had an infected cyst on my ... ummm... buttock (I prefer upper thigh, but noone seems to agree with me on that location) for a week. The situation has been pretty painful for a couple of days, so when Dr. So&So pulled out a shot about a mile long, you can imagine the fear throughout my body. The shot contained lydocaine and it was going directly into the big red circle on my bottom. Okay, so it hurt like .. WOW .. IT HURT!! Thankfully, Vicki was also at the med-center for her own illness, so I had asked for her to be in the room. I think she temporarily lost circulation in her hand because I squeezed it so hard. After the shot, Doc says "Now it's time to get all of the cheese out." Mmmmm, yummy. He made an incision and what he did from there, I do not know. It involved a lot of squeezing, pushing, pulling, and "cheese" flying about the room. Absolutely disgusting. He finished, cleaned up, put gauze on and said, "You have a big ol' hole in your butt." Okay, thanks, I guess. I now walk with a limp, and can't put any pressure on my right cheek. Don't you wish you were me? I'm dosing up on Tylenol with Codeine, and wondering how many jokes my parents and in-laws made at the Waterloo at the expense of my bottom.

Oh yeah, Karlee threw up throughout the night, and Cuyler has had a headache, fever, and no appetite all weekend.

Wanna come over?

My days..

2006-01-03T20:47:00.000-05:00

Well, friends, life is rolling right along, and I still don't have anything very exciting to write about.

I'll fill you in on the little details!

I'm shocked, sad, and angry all at the same time over my teen-age cousins choice to live a life of depravity. I'm most definately ticked at the father of lies who has corrupted her mind, and I wish I could drag her to the throne of grace where she would have to look into the eyes of Jesus.

I worked out yesterday and today for the first time in like two weeks, and I almost died.

I took down my Christmas tree and rearranged my living room. The change is nice.

I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today. I highly recommend that to anyone. It made me feel happy and youthful.

I read this verse during my quiet time:
"Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart." ~Psalm 97:11

It's way too dark and dreary outside, so that verse made me hopeful. It also gave me a desire to stay as close to Jesus as I possibly can, because He promises that if I do, I WILL have LIGHT and JOY. That is glorious!

Oh yeah, my theme for the new year is "Kneel down and Buff up." Swwweeeeet!

Keep on keepin' on!! Love to all.

Hmmmmm .. Pointless!

2005-12-30T17:12:00.000-05:00

Wow, this has been my longest stretch without posting in like .. a month! So, I thought I'd write, even though I have nothing of interest to report.

Does anyone know where Cuyler's "walwet" (wallet) is? It seems to be lost and he's talking nonstop about it. I know one of the teen girls probably lifted it. If so, I'm gonna kick you where it hurts. Audrey, where is that again?

We're just about to leave for the mall. (That's why Cuyler is so desperately searching for his wallet.) Oh wait .. the wallet has been found! Hallelujah! Sorry to my girlies for the accusation. I knew you all were pure as the driven snow anyway.

A note about the sleepover .. teen girls seriously do "rock the socks right offa my feet." Very few people can make me laugh until I cry, but I found the girls to be quite hillarious. I think I even laughed when they were laughing at me. ??

Anyway, time for me to leave. I'll write again soon. :)

BOBBY AND KRISTEN

2005-12-26T16:56:00.000-05:00

~The BSBC Youth Group~

2005-12-26T16:26:00.000-05:00

I had to hold off on my final "thankful" post until today because I just wasn't home very much yesterday. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We did!!

I am very thankful for the privilege of serving the Lord through the youth group. I honestly feel like this year the teens have ministered to me more than I have to them, and that makes me thankful too!

I'm involved mostly with the girls, and they are a JOY!! Oh how they make me smile. I so enjoy spending time with them, and observing their interactions with one another. I appreciate them, even when they're silly! I've mentioned many of them throughout this month, but there are a few that I haven't .. Becky G. is no longer in the youth group as a high-schooler, but she still influences lives within our group in great ways. She is passionate about her love for the Lord, and is consistently growing closer to Him. I've been blessed with the opportunity to watch her grow for many years, and she is a shining example of Jesus working in and through a life. Brittany R. is a new addition to our youth group. I haven't gotten to know her very well yet, but I've been impressed by her desire for her friends to know Jesus personally. Brittany is fun and friendly and I enjoy our little chats. I hope that we'll continue to get to know each other better. Angel has been consistently coming to ss, church, and youth night. She's another whom I don't know very well, but I've been thankful for her consistency and desire to grow. There are many other girls whom I have or haven't been involved with on a personal level, and I thank Jesus for them, as well. Teen-age girls are awesome and let's see if I get this right .. "They rock my socks right offa my feet!" ??

The guys are cool, too. I will have to mention Bobby, because I've known him since he was a little pip squeek :), and I adore him!! Bobby is mature, kind, quiet, shows great leadership potential, and believe it or not, I can beat him up! He's a great guy, and a solid Christian. I'm so thankful for my relationship with him. He's sort of like a little brother .. it's really cool.

The youth group is a big part of my life and I feel blessed because of that. I know that my life is a lot more fun because of the BSBC teens. They make me feel loved, and encouraged, and it makes me happy to be able to love them so much. Press on, and keep strong, y'all. You are an incredible group of young men and women, and I see so many awesome qualities in you. Jesus loves you. Stay close to Him always. I LOVE YOU!!

One more thing .. GIRLS SLEEP OVER - THURSDAY DEC. 29 - MY HOUSE!! :)

~My Church Family~

2005-12-24T21:37:00.000-05:00

I feel badly about placing so many individuals who have had their own unique impact on my life into a group, but for the sake of completing the project in 25 days, that's what I've chosen to do.

I love BSBC for it's Bible-based teaching and preaching, fundamental doctrine, and most of all for the people who make it a body. BSBC is made up of some prayer warriors, encouragers, servants, and I think the church is so often known for it's generosity. We are truly a family. It's so wonderful to worship with my brothers and sisters in Christ on a regular basis.

I must briefly mention a few individuals who are coming to mind ..

First of all, I am very, very thankful for Pastor Kuhns and his "lovely" wife, Astrida. They are rooted in the truth of God's word which they so boldly share with others. As a couple, and as individuals, Pastor and Astrida are always available to shepherd their flock. They stay aware of the needs of the people, and look for ways to reach out. I know for sure that they are always praying. They've been honest with me, and have been a great support, as well. I've learned a lot from each of them. I sincerely respect them, and I think it is so awesome to be able to consider Pastor and his wife my friends.

Marlene Hembree is an encouragement to me. She sends touching notes through my blog, and through snail mail! Mar builds me up, and she's so good to my kids. (Karlee gets lots and lots of kisses on Sundays!!) She's really funny, too. Take her out with the gals, and you'll be laughing! I respect Marlene's place in life and for the way she reaches out to others. She's a great woman, and I hope that we'll continue to get to know one another as time goes on. By the way, I was staying at the Hembree's house for a week when Clint and I got engaged! Isn't that cool? Mar saw me through some very interesting times. Thanks for always being there, Marlene!

Kim Kozy is another good friend. One thing I've learned about Kim through the years is that if she even SUSPECTS I've been crying, she'll corner me until I dump on her. Kim thinks much more logically than I, so she has this way of giving me a fresh perspective in a matter of minutes. She's helped me to learn to toughen up a little, and not to worry so much about what people think of me. I'm pretty sure that Kim has the gift of hospitality. She not only opens her home on a regular basis, but she goes outside of her home to minister to the needs of others. She's a really neat Christian woman whom I admire.

My mind is spinning because I feel like I could mention sooooooooo many people. I love my church family. So that this doesn't turn into a book, I'm just going to mention one more name ..

Karen Blasdel. Several years ago, the Lord placed Karen on my heart and I began to pray for her. I told her that I had been praying, and then for a time we had a special, encouraging relationship. Things are a little different now, but because of that special time when my heart went out to her, Karen holds a precious place in my heart. I love her a lot, and consider her a "Titus woman" in my life. I'm just thankful for Karen.

Yes, I am thankful for the people who make BSBC more than a building. We are a family, and I love and commit myself to them. I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for the huge place BSBC has had in my life.

~My Mom~

2005-12-23T16:47:00.000-05:00

My mom is an awesome woman. She is dependable, trustworthy, generous, friendly, outgoing, and fun. Like my dad, she is always so willing to give of her time and resources to help others. Throughout her life, she has worked really hard, but I think she's given away much of what she's earned. A lot of people have depended on her, and she's selflessly met their needs. Sometimes it's been advice, other times it's been something material, and I know there have been many other things that people have asked of her. She's always there. Any time she's been at my house and noticed that we may need something, she's often helped us out. My mom has been available to babysit, and she also takes the kids one-on-one sometimes for a fun day. She's very honest, though, and I really appreciate that. I never have to wonder where I stand, or if she's REALLY able to take care of the kids. My mom taught me to be an honest, genuine person. That's how she is. She's helped me learn the importance of being accepted by others for who I really am, instead of pretending so that I'll win the approval of others. My mom has a beautiful home, and she makes it an inviting "haven." That's how I think of it! She is a natural decorator, and anything pretty in my house is because of her talent. I'm very thankful for all she's done in my house. My mom is just a wonderful friend. I know she's always there, and I'm so thankful for her place in my life. I love you, Mom!

~Cuyler Allen~

2005-12-22T21:52:00.000-05:00

While trying to encourage me, Pastor Kuhns said, "Take heart, Kristen, you still have the loudest child in our church." That's my Little Buck! He just gets so excited. Cuyler is the extrovert in our family and he's highly energized by people. It just bubbles over. He's also intense. Cuyler takes things very seriously - especially himself. He expects perfection from himself and others. At his age, that can be frustrating for him, but I'm confident that someday it will be one of his greatest strengths as he applies it to his family, work, ministry, and whatever else he commits himself to. He's already a hard worker. If you give him a job, he'll perform to the best of his ability. Cuyler is a tender-hearted little guy. He so desires the unsaved to believe in Jesus Christ as the one and only way. He's pretty vocal about that! Again, a strength that I'm excited to see God refine. My loud, army-playing, gun-shooting, sword-fighting son will ask several times a day to snuggle on my lap. He loves hugs and kisses and to spend time with me. Cuyler is so incredibly sensitive. My heart melts when I'm disciplining him and he fights back tears and the corners of his lips turn down. He says "sorry" and means it before I can count to three. I love the tender side of Cuyler. I also enjoy the funny, energetic, excitable, boarder-line violent side of him. He's a lot of fun. I love my Little Buck.

~My Dad~

2005-12-21T17:50:00.000-05:00

Quiet, committed, faithful, sarcastic (but funny), very, very generous, sensitive .. those are some of the first descriptions that popped into my head when I thought about my dad. He is moral, upright, and values family. He is very selfless and giving. He's willing to give of his time and resources, especially if it helps someone out. My dad sees the good in people, and it makes him sad when he feels like someone is slighted in any way. While I was growing up, my dad was easy to talk to, and not one prone to fight with his family. He worked very hard and was committed to his job so that we could have nice things and go on awesome vacations. He showed me that "having" and "getting" were privileges. He also taught me that being a good person and doing the right thing were more honorable than being popular. My dad is so, so good to my family now. He's always willing to help us in any way, and he enjoys seeing us happy. My kids love their grandpa, and they have a special place in his life. He is just an all-around great man!! My dad has always been a wonderful example for me, and I see Jesus in him as he is now setting an example for my children. I love him, and am so thankful for him.

~Brittany H.~

2005-12-20T14:35:00.000-05:00

Brittany is my running hero .. I think of her as "Cheetah Girl!" My oh my, she is FAST. I like to talk "running" with Brittany, because she knows her stuff. She even helped me compete better in the Labor of Love run. I don't know Brittany extremely well on a personal level, but I do know that she is kind and she gives a lot of compliments. Brittany seems to enjoy making others feel good about themselves, and she pays attention to and compliments little details that may go unnoticed by others. She is also a helper. I've noticed that she's always willing to lend a hand wherever it may be needed. Brittany has had to rise above her emotions and circumstances to see God as her loving Father, and surrender her all to Him. I've seen her consistently hold fast to her faith and "run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Cor. 9:24. Brittany is fun to be around, and a joy to me. I'm thankful for her place in the youth group, our church, and my life. Stay strong, sister! You are loved.

~Twila~

2005-12-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I'll ever meet someone with a more charasmatic personality than my mother-in-law. She is outgoing, kind, joyful, and not only sees, but defends the best in everyone. Her laughter is contagious, and she doesn't hesitate to say and do silly things that just tickle my funny bone. Sometimes at ladies retreats and other services when we're singing, she'll all of a sudden belt out these high notes in this opera voice that is so hillarious. I usually laugh so hard that tears run down my cheeks. Twila loves to laugh and have fun! I don't think she's ever met a stranger. Sometime I think it would be cool to know the actual number of people who consider Twila a friend. I'm sure it would be a LOT of people!! She is loyal to not only her immediate family, but her large extended family, too. She has also been so very accepting of me, and welcomed me into the family as her own daughter. I'm thankful that she is always there for us, and available to help in many different ways. She keeps the kids for me very often, and if she's at my house she always does extra cleaning and laundry. Any time I've been sick, she's offered to do anything to help out. Twila so enjoys her grandchildren, and I can tell that they feel loved by her. I like to spend time at her house because she always makes it so warm and cozy. If we're fortunate enough to be over there for dinner, she will likely make an awesome meal - and she even accepts special requests! I know that Twila has a special love for God, and that overflows onto people with whom she has contact. She is a wonderful mother-in-law. I am so blessed to have a relationship with her.

AUDREY & ELIZABETH

2005-12-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

~Audrey~

2005-12-18T15:07:00.000-05:00

Audrey reflects beauty through her life, character, appearance, and actions. She is quiet, mature, reserved, kind, consistent, and godly. She walks with confidence and has a healthy sense of self-respect. Audrey is smart and talented. She puts her mind to her responsibilities, follows through, and excels. I love her gorgeous singing voice! I am in awe of her musical abilities because reading, playing, and singing music just comes naturally to Audrey. She is also a wonderful example for her peers in many ways. I will specifically mention her dating relationship. Even when she's with Jimmy, Audrey is approachable and doesn't make others uncomfortable. She does a great job of including others and making it obvious that God is her focus before Jimmy. Her maturity in many areas of her life is incredible. She has earned and received much respect. Every once in a while Audrey will come out of nowhere with a hillarious comment, and I so appreciate that about her. Even though she's serious most of the time, she knows how to kick back and have fun. Audrey has high standards and she lives for Christ. I am very thankful for her example, as well as the impact she has on other teens. I am also thankful for her friendship because she makes me smile, and I just always know what to expect with Audrey. That is really cool.

~Vicki~

2005-12-17T21:24:00.000-05:00

"I've dreamed of meeting her all my life . . . a bosom friend - an intimate friend, you know - a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul." ~ Anne of Green Gables

Vicki is without a doubt my kindred spirit! We're in a crowded room .. she looks at me .. I say nothing .. and Vicki nods her head as if to say her heart completely understands. She knows me that well. It's awesome. It's comforting to know that I have a friend who just understands. Along with her nod, Vicki always gives a reassuring smile and it reminds me of her unconditional love. I am convinced that when she gets to heaven, Vicki will receive some extra jewels in her crown for staying my friend. I've given her every reason and opportunity to walk away from our friendship but it seems like her commitment has only grown stronger. We first became friends when I was in college, and Vicki would tell me that her "love is not a faucet." Meaning .. it can't be turned off! I used to laugh about that, but it's been so true. Vicki looks at trials in relationships as "stepping stones". She thinks that they can be used to draw people closer to one another by working through the issues together. That hasn't always been comfortable for me, but Vicki has helped me grow in that area. It's been a blessing in our friendship, and I've been able to apply it to my other relationships, as well. Vicki will read this next sentence and say, "Oh my, Kristen, you know me!" (And that's my point, Vicki, I KNOW you!!) She is about as close to perfect as it gets!! :) Her life, character, love, godliness, achievements, goals, convictions .. it all surpasses what I would ever expect to know in a woman. Vicki is a ROCK. She has an incredibly beautiful, sensitive heart, and sometimes she feels so vulnerable. In those moments, though, I promise you that the very first thing she does is turn to the Lord Jesus Christ. She will trust Him, and then she'll do the right thing - whatever it may be in that moment. So even though she has needs, she is still a rock. Vicki has never turned away from God. And especially never in an intentional or rebellious way. Her heart is His, and she STAYS with Her Lord always. I think the Proverbs 31 woman may actually have a name. VICKI ANN KEYS!! I would have to think so because of the submissive, godly way she manages her life, home, family responsibilities, as well as her many other commitments. I admire Vicki so, so much, and I hope that I will grow to be more like her. Vicki is also an "aunt" to my children, and that has meant so much to me. They love and relate to her just as if she were actually family, and they feel knit to her family, too! I'm so thankful for the love Vicki shows to my kids. I love that Vicki knows my daily schedule better than I do, because she is always an immediate help. She has been the one I've called when my kids are sick, the car pool got messed up, I'm losing my "cool" in the middle of the day, and even when my water broke in the middle of the night, and I had to get to the hospital NOW. She not only came to stay with my kids .. she first fixed my hair so I wouldn't have to go to the hospital looking like a fright! Vicki has also been the one I've called when I'm in the middle of this or that crisis. She's seen me at the heights of my joy, and she's also seen my ugly sin. It doesn't really matter what's going on with me .. she always does the same thing. Hugs me. Maybe a quick hug, but more times than not she holds me for a long time, praying out loud until I'm ready to move on. Sometimes she's even cried. I'm always surprised that she feels my pain so much that it makes her cry. Vicki, thank you for loving me. Thank you for being the best friend I could ever imagine. I hope that somehow, someday I can repay you for all you've done. You show your love through your words, affection, service, gifts, and time regularly. Very few people are so filled with the love of Christ that they can so freely give. You are unbelievable. I love you.

~Jason~

2005-12-16T21:38:00.000-05:00

There was a day when I don't think I would've said I was thankful for my brother. But that is WHY I'm thankful now. I'm thankful because we finally have a loving, supportive relationship. Jason has come a LONG way in his personal life, and even though he had to hit rock bottom, he found a relationship with God which lifted him up. "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." ~Psalm 40:2 Jason's life is an awesome testimony of the love, forgiveness, and grace of God. I'm confident that as he continues to surrender everything to the Lord, Jason will be used in big ways to make a difference for Jesus. My kids love their uncle Jason, and the new relationship they have with him. They think he is funny, and believe me, he is the only adult they know who walks on their hands through our living room. When Jason is at our house, it sounds like the walls are caving in because he gets the kids so wound up. I'm just happy that they can all play together!! Someday Jason is going to teach me martial arts. After all, he is my martial arts hero! If you've been around Jason for any amount of time, you know that he is such a nice guy. He's outgoing and kind, and chances are he's got your back if you've been wronged! I'm so proud of my brother for staying strong even though it's really hard. He's become humble, open, teachable, and fun to spend time with. It means the world to me that I can call him my friend.

~Katie Lore~

2005-12-15T10:24:00.000-05:00

Katie .. My sweet, sensitive daughter. She makes me feel so loved. Katie will spontaneously run up to me, give me the biggest hug, and say "You're the best mommy ever!" Her heart is open to the Lord Jesus, and I see Him at work in her life every day. She likes to please people, and because of that she is obedient at home (most of the time ;) ) , at school, and with other authority figures in her life. She deeply desires to please Jesus. When she strays, a heart to heart about the Bible and God's plan for her life, will help her change her course. Katie is quiet, but kind. Her desire to be a good friend is shown in the way that she stays committed to her closest friends no matter what. Cuyler and Karlee look up to Katie, and they always want to play with her! She is learning patience by having to tolerate things that she may not prefer in the moment. I like to watch her grow in that way. Sometimes she amazes me with just how great she is with Karlee. Katie is very mature and nurturing with her little sister. She is active and athletic, and thrills my heart when she tells me that she wants to go jogging or do tae-bo. :) Right now she does about a million cartwheels and handstands every day. She "bounds" through the rooms in our house! Katie, much like her mommy, likes to play rough & tough, but deep down has a completely "girly" heart! She loves when we can have a "girls night out," and asks for one quite often! I'm so proud of her accomplishments. I have complete confidence in her, and I know that she is going to live a life of influence. Katie is blossoming into such a beautiful young girl, and I'm so thankful for the relationship that I get to have with her. It's fun to develop our relationship as mother and daughter, and in a lot of ways, grow together. Yep, Katie holds me accountable in my life, too. That can be quite humbling, but it's also awesome to see her stand firm in her convictions. Thank you, Jesus, for my beautiful daughter!

~Chantelle~

2005-12-14T09:59:00.000-05:00

Chantelle is a GREAT friend. In some ways, I think she's my exact opposite .. but we have a lot of fun together. Chantelle is a friend to ALL people. I'm serious. She makes strangers feel loved. She is very outgoing. (Okay .. very, very outgoing!!) Being with people makes her happy and gives her energy, and that is how she spends the majority of her time. If anyone says "Chantelle, will you....?" her answer will be "Yes!" This woman serves others consistently. I truly wish she'd allow herself a "Calgon take me away" day, but that will only happen when this world no longer has a need. Chantelle reaches out to me, and checks in a lot even if just to ask "are you okay?" I think she has the gift of encouragement, because she has shown up at my door more than once with the biggest, most beautiful roses I've ever seen. I feel protected by Chantelle when we're in crowds, because that is her comfort zone. (And it's NOT mine!) I always know that she wants me to feel secure, and unafraid to interact with others. She gives good advice, too. I like to ask her opinion on different things, because she is able to think objectively and with wisdom. It's cool, because Chantelle and I sort have this unspoken agreement to not get mad at each other, or at least not to harbor any bad feelings. I don't think we ever wonder where we stand with each other, because we totally accept each other as individuals. I am fully committed to and sooooo thankful for my neat friendship with Chantelle.

~Clint~

2005-12-13T20:43:00.000-05:00

This is a pic of Clint and I when we had just started dating! Awwww!!
Why am I thankful for my man? Let's see .. perhaps because he did a silly little dance in the dining room when he found out I drew his name today. Or maybe because he also does Jewish dances at spontaneous moments. No, it has to be because he can sing "Oklahoma" better than anyone I know. Actually, I'm thankful because he sings to me quite often. His current selections .. Christmas carols, Christmas jingles, Christmas songs, Christmas hymns .. if it has anything at all to do with Christmas, he's belting out the melody. Yes, he's fun and funny. (Sometimes a little "out there," but it's okay, he's under a lot of pressure.) All joking aside, Clint is an awesome man. I HAVE to be thankful for the fact that he's stood by my side and remained faithful for more than nine years, because I can be pretty "difficult" (that's probably an understatement) sometimes. Clint is the most persistent person I've ever known. He's never given up on me, and I think he'd walk a million miles before he'd let me give up on myself. Clint draws his strength, wisdom, and joy from Jesus Christ. He's fully committed to his Lord, and I've never known him to waver the tiniest bit in his faith. I think everyone likes Clint. I've never known him to have an enemy. He's a peacemaker, and has a gift for seeing the best in everyone, as well as desiring the best that God has for them. He gives his best to his work at Roadway, the youth ministry, and any other responsibilities he's given. Above any of that, he gives his best at home with me and our children. He's completely, 100% available, and has been a present leader for our family. I know that Clint is highly respected, and I believe he's earned that respect. I can say, as one who knows, that Clint does not just "talk the talk." He lives his life above reproach. I consider it more than an honor to be married to such a man. Clint is my very best friend. I love to spend time with him, and I consider it such a blessing that we share many common interests. When we're together, we like to go running, work out at the Y, hike, swim, eat fancy dinners, play Scrabble, watch The Amazing Race, wrestle .... and the list goes on .... We just love to be together. Because I have such an awesome man, I am consistently loved, encouraged, prayed for, and given pretty flowers. Even though our marriage isn't perfect, and we both have weaknesses, and yes .. we fight sometimes, I am so very thankful for Clint as a person. I'm very, very thankful that he is MY husband and my best friend. I think he's the absolute best!!

~Ross~

2005-12-12T14:55:00.000-05:00

I am thankful for my Father-in-law because he is just "good people." That is his way of saying that someone is quality, genuine, and dependable. If it weren't for Ross, Clint and I would have had to spend lots and lots of money on home and car repairs! I think he can fix just about anything, and we've put him to the test over the years. He's been willing to make late night, early morning, and inconvenient house calls when we were desperate for his expertise. Ross is also a great grandpa! He watches Karlee every Wednesday night in the nursery, and is always willing to entertain anywhere from 1-3 of our children on any given day. Cuyler is learning "man" things from Ross, and I think that someday the torch will be passed as far as home and car repairs go. Katie enjoys wrestling with her grandpa, as well as learning little pieces of information that he shares with her. All three children are very much into his train layout, and he finds joy in sharing it with them. Ross is a dependable man. I respect him a lot, and I know that our family wouldn't be the same without him. I am thankful for Ross' place in my life, as well as for the the friend I have in him.

~Karlee Grace~

2005-12-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

Why am I thankful for Karlee? Just look at that face! Karlee is so much fun. She loves to sing, dance, and play. She gets A LOT of attention from people, because she is outgoing and fun-loving. Every Sunday when we drive home from church, she sings little songs. We aren't always sure what they are, or what she's saying, but it sure is cute! I think she's going to grow up to be a singer because she just sings her little heart out all of the time! Karlee also enjoys being funny and she makes us laugh quite often. Especially during dinner. Sometimes Cuyler can't even eat because he is laughing so hard. I love to snuggle with Karlee! When she was a tiny little baby, she liked to put her forehead right up against mine when she was falling asleep. She still does that when I lay next to her in bed. She is just so cuddly, and I love that! I think that throughout her life, Karlee is going to make people happy. She honestly lights up a room, and I enjoy watching people smile because of their involvement with Karlee. Her life is such a blessing. When I was first pregnant with her, I thought for sure that I would miscarry because of some problems I had. I still think that Karlee's life is a miracle, and I'm honored that I get to witness that miracle every day. I think that a lot of people would agree that Karlee Grace is just pure JOY!!

~Susan~

2005-12-10T09:52:00.000-05:00

Susan is my mentor and friend. She has opened her heart and life to me, and allowed me to do the same. I think Susan has a "no walls" philosophy! She remains transparent, and asks me to be completely honest about myself and my life. My weaknessses don't shock her, but she isn't afraid to confront me boldly when I need to change my course. I like that she doesn't try to flatter me, but just says it as it is. I want to grow to love Jesus like Susan. You can have a five minute conversation with her, and be so aware of her deep, intimate relationship with her Jesus. It just flows out of her!! Even though she has "walked through the fire" for months, she hasn't been burned! No, she is an example of grace and gives glory to God. Susan's life glorifies Jesus Christ. She is a gifted teacher of God's word, and it is an amazing experience to sit at her feet and witness the Lord speaking through her. I've learned from Susan, and I'm growing in my relationship with Jesus because of her friendship. Thank you, Susan, for being willing to be a part of my life. I am very thankful for you, your life, and your love.

~My Extended Family~

2005-12-09T09:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know that this is actually a group of people .. please bear with me. :) I am very thankful for my extended family on my side, as well as Clint's. I am surrounded by many, many supportive and loving people. Growing up, family was a big deal to me. Outside of my immediate family, I spent most of my time with my aunt Steph, and my grandma. My aunt has three teen-age children of her own, and I've always loved them a lot. Amanda, Emily, and Philip were adorable little kids, and when I was a teen-ager and college student they were like my little sisters and brother. I also have three other cousins, Steven, Jenny, and Kenny to whom I was close, especially when they were little. I'm so thankful for my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, who have all had a part in my life for as long as I can remember. As far as Clint's extended family .. he has lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Over the years, they've become my family as well, and I'm thankful for the place each person has in my life. Family is a blessing. I am aware that some people don't have family nearby, or with whom they are close. I don't take for granted the fact that I can always look forward to spontaneous family gatherings and holiday's with loved ones.

~Sandy~

2005-12-08T09:18:00.000-05:00

Ahhh .. Sandy .. :) My new friend for whom I am very, very thankful. Sandy is sweet, quiet, pretty, godly, a servant, and has a beautiful heart. When I met Sandy, I was instantly drawn to her. I didn't know her at all, and I'm still getting to know her, but there's just something about Sandy that makes me want to LOVE her! She is genuine, and I think she deserves the best always. Sandy does so much for other people, it is just incredible. Her schedule is demanding, but she seems to feel rewarded by serving others. I think that is awesome, and I really admire that about her. I feel honored to have been given the gift of a friendship with Sandy. I like to call her my sister-friend because I always wanted a sister, and as our friendship grows, I think our hearts will be knit together like sisters. Sandy has two children whom my kids absolutely adore. (So do I!!) Her husband is kind and godly. They are a very beautiful family. I hope we will all continue to get to know one another, and be supportive friends for a long, long time! Sometimes it's a little uncomfortable when you're getting to know someone. Misunderstandings and different personalities may cloud the "big picture." Yes, Sandy and I have experienced that to some extent. I am so confident, though, that our friendship is a God thing. It is His will, and will grow in His time. I am committed to Sandy and the friendship we've been given. I love her like a sister, even though we haven't even known each other very long. I am excited about where the Lord will take us. I'm also excited to get to know more of Sandy's beautiful heart. She is an awesome woman.

~Elizabeth~

2005-12-07T09:15:00.000-05:00

Precious. That's one word to describe Elizabeth. She is also talented, godly, funny (very funny!), smart, caring, and easy to love!! I think we've been growing closer in recent days, and I so enjoy my relationship with Elizabeth. She has consistently invited me to be a part of her life, and I'm thankful that she has! I always want to hug her, and give her little kisses on the cheek because she's just so cute! Elizabeth has an amazing singing voice, and although I wish she'd sing for me more often :), I'm glad for the moments that I do get to hear her! I wish I could be a "fly on the wall" inside her house, so I could hear her sing all of the time! I'm drawn to the competitive athlete in Elizabeth, and I've enjoyed the times we've spent together jogging and shooting hoops. (Actually .. Elizabeth teaching me to shoot hoops!) I hope we have more of those opportunities. Every time I'm around Elizabeth, I laugh. She just has this awesome sense of humor. I'm thankful for the many, many smiles she's added to my life. If you read Elizabeth's blog, you know of her heart for the Lord Jesus. Wow. I'm so often impressed with her knowledge of God's word, and her maturity in walking with Him. She consistently chooses to take steps forward in her relationship with Christ. I'm confident that she is, and will forever continue to impact lives for eternity. If you don't know Elizabeth very well, get to know her. I promise that you will LOVE her!

~Leigh-Ann~

2005-12-06T09:51:00.000-05:00

Many of my readers have never met my friend, Leigh-Ann, so I'm including her picture. Isn't she pretty?! :) Leigh-Ann is probably the friend I've had the longest, because we met in high school! We were friends in high school, but grew close during college. Leigh-Ann is an absolutely amazing, godly woman! She's smart, talented, giving, caring, and believe me, tried & true!! I admire her very, very much. We don't see one another nearly enough, but when we do, there's no time for small talk. We easily talk about heart issues. There have been some mountain-sized struggles for Leigh-Ann, but she's come through stronger, and her faith has been proved genuine ~ just like it says in 1 Peter 1:7. She is a loving wife, mother, joyful servant of Jesus, and beautiful friend. I KNOW that Leigh-Ann will always be my friend, and I, of course, will always be hers. I'm soooooooo thankful for her and her awesome friendship. Love ya, Girlfriend!

BECKY AND EMILY ~ nine years ago :)

2005-12-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

~Emily~

2005-12-05T09:33:00.000-05:00

Emily is sweet, quiet, and tender-hearted. I am so thankful for her commitment to Christ and boldness in reaching others for Him. Emily has a passion for seeing others come to know Jesus Christ as their personal savior. She faithfully invites her friends to church, youth group, and camp. I'm challenged by her heart for witnessing. She played the piano for special music yesterday and - WOW - it was awesome!! I felt so proud of Emily as I listened to the beautiful music. The fact that she played in honor of her secret pal, Kelly, is one evidence of how she likes to makes others feel special. I know that she gets teased for her relationship with Bart, but it is truly so sweet! Emily is making a difference in the lives of others. She writes beautiful poetry, which so often encourages people. I can't imagine Emily ever saying anything mean, or intentionally hurting another person. She is a lover of God, and a friend to all people. I'm so thankful that I've been able to watch her grow and blossom into a lovely young woman.

~Libby~

2005-12-04T15:18:00.000-05:00

When I think of Libby, I think of a very safe friend. She has been protective of me in the past, so don't mess with me, because I've got Lib! One time I was going through something hard, and she wrote me one of the most awesome letters I've ever received. I knew that she would stick up for me no matter what. Not that she would ever need to actually do that, it's just nice to know that she's cheering me on. Libby is very faithful. I'm happy to say that I've been the recipient of Libby's encouragement on many occasions. Whether it's been a card, or spoken words, she has warmed my heart. I also like that she laughs at my "jokes." It's fun to say things to make Libby laugh. I get silly when I'm around her. ~ We have had some great times together. I admire Libby's commitment to the Lord Jesus, as well as her desire for others to truly know Him. She is kind to everyone. I don't know anyone who doesn't have respect for Libby Johnson. Even though life isn't always easy for her, she presses on and is diligent in the different areas of her life. I am so thankful for the fact that I can call Libby a friend.

~Kristen~

2005-12-03T08:54:00.000-05:00

Why am I thankful for Kristen? Where do I even begin?! First of all, I am so thankful for the awesome example that Kristen has been for Katie. Kristen has always been like a big sister to Katie, she therefore seems like a part of our family. I am so comforted to know that Katie has Kristen to look up to. When Kristen was three years old, we began a very special relationship. At the age of three she thought like a teen-ager, and had the emotions to match. :) She attached herself to me, and as a college student at the time, I was thrilled to have such a neat relationship with little Kristen. Well, she isn't little anymore. Kristen is beautiful, carries herself with grace, and has a heart of gold. She knows more about me than a lot of people, because she is usually around when I dump on her mom! She has seen me devastated, furious, overwhelmed, and overjoyed. Even though she may not say much in those moments, I feel loved when she looks at me with eyes that are full of love and maturity way beyond her years. I am so thankful for Kristen's commitment to Christ. She so desires to live for Him by developing godly convictions. If she thinks she has disappointed the Lord (or anyone else), she is saddened and wants to make it right. Kristen will not bend an inch to win the approval of others. At the same time, she reaches out and is creative in the way she pours the love of Christ onto the people around her. Kristen is a servant! She has come to my rescue many times when I've needed a babysitter. She also willingly ministers at church by serving God's people. I'm also thankful for Kristen's sarcasm and quick wit that truly makes her .. Kristy Beth .. fun-loving and a blast to hang out with. My life, and my family life, would not be the same without Kristen. She just belongs in my heart.

~Tyleasha~

2005-12-02T16:49:00.000-05:00

I don't know Tyleasha extremely well, but I am thankful for this kind young woman, as well as her place in our church and youth group. Ty rises above difficult circumstances daily and remains faithful to the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm thankful that Tyleasha looks to God and keeps Jesus as her true role model. I love to listen to Tyleasha pray. She is sincere and focused in her prayers. She also has a contagious laugh! Ty sat in the front with me on the way to our teen retreat, and every time she laughed, it made me laugh too. :) She makes people happy, is down to earth, and enjoyable to be around. I hope to get to know Tyleasha better as time goes on. I already know for sure that she is one awesome chic. Peace out. lylafklc :) :) :)

~Becky~

2005-12-02T09:33:00.000-05:00

I affectionately call her "Becks," and I am so thankful for Rebecca Marie. She is spirited, emotional, sensitive, encouraging, kind, and a great friend! If Becks even suspects I'm a little down, she comes running with sweet words, Bible verses, and the biggest and longest hugs! I love that because of where we sit in church, she can turn toward me and make perfect eye contact! When Becks looks at me, I always smile because I know I have a friend in her. She is the tiniest little thing, but don't even try to wrestle with her because she is STRONG! I've been tackled by her~ and even though I've tried to wrestle her to the ground, she always breaks free! Her personality is a lot the same. Although Becks is sensitive and emotional, do not underestimate her faith in God, and the strength she receives from Him. She always returns to her first love, and stands strong for Him in her life at school and with her friends. If you come to our youth group for the first time, you will definitely want to make contact with Becks. She is welcoming, and doesn't let appearance, social status, or popularity get in the way of making someone feel special. Becks has a lot of energy, and if you're not careful, you may forget to look past that and into the heart of a beautiful young woman. I have been so encouraged and loved by her, and I consider myself blessed to have Becks as a part of my life.

Happy Reading!

2005-12-02T09:26:00.000-05:00

There was something I really wanted to do during the month of November. My plan was to put the names of 25 people into a bowl, each day of the month draw one, and write about why I'm thankful for that person. Well, my blog got all messed up and I wasn't able to post, so that never happened. I decided that I will do it throughout December instead. So.. from now until Christmas day, I will draw a name and write about why I'm thankful for that person. (I'm actually going to write about two people today because it's already Dec. 2!!) Hear my heart, and happy reading!

~Please Forgive Me~

2005-12-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

For every time I've been unfaithful
For every time I've been untrue
For every time I've been ungrateful
For all You've done and all You do

Please forgive me
Please forgive me

For when my pride has been unbroken
For when my soul has ben unmoved
For all the praise I've left unspoken
When I owe everything to you

Please forgive me
Please forgive me

There is a fountain filled with blood
Where Your forgiveness ever flows
Come wash me in the healing flood
And I'll be white as snow

For when my heart has been unyielding
When my devotion went unproved
For all the days I've been unwilling
To take my cross and follow You

Please forgive me
Please forgive me

There is a fountain filled with blood
Where your forgiveness ever flows
Come wash me in the healing flood
And I'll be white as snow

For every time I've been unfaithful
For every time I've been untrue
For every time I've been ungrateful
For all You've done and all You do

Please forgive me
Please forgive me
Please

THANK YOU!

2005-11-30T09:36:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the encouraging comments. I so appreciate the special people God has placed in my life. I am blessed. I'm still feeling pretty emotional, but I'm NOT spiraling down ~ as some have been concerned about. There are feelings and emotions in the deep parts of my heart that need to be completely surrendered to Jesus. I also need to devote more time to Him. I'm struggling with that. I'm okay, though. Thank you for surrounding me with support. Because of some of the fears I'm dealing with, that has meant so much to me.

About that river-crying, emotional woman...

2005-11-28T15:24:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's one of those days.

Shout it loud..

2005-11-27T20:04:00.000-05:00

SANDY REED IS AWESOME!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-25T01:17:00.000-05:00

Why am I thankful?

I am thankful, above all else, for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am thankful for His death for me and for eternal life with Him. I am thankful for His unconditional, undying love that is so real to me. I'm thankful that I can walk with Jesus every day.

I am thankful for my best friend, Clint. He is persistant, consistent, faithful, and loving. I cannot imagine life without his smile, touch, and friendship. We have been blessed with an amazing marriage. I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend time with ~ we have so much fun together!

I'm always thankful for my three beautiful children: Katie, Cuyler, and Karlee Grace. They fill my life with joy, smiles, and love. A mother's love is so awesome! I never knew I could love the way I love my children.

I'm blessed with a dad and mom who love me and are always helpful. They consistently reach out to me and our little family, and I'm so thankful for them. I'm also thankful for my brother, father and mother-in-law, and other close and extended family.

I'm thankful for my longest friendship with my most intimate girlfriend. She taught me about love that couldn't be "turned off", and how to trust. By loving, serving, and seeking Jesus together for many years, our hearts have been knit together, and we have a history that is priceless.

I'm thankful for my newest friendship with my "sister-friend." The Lord drew us to one another, and has made me so thankful for this sweet friend. I'm confident that our friendship will grow into something beautiful.

I have many other friends for whom I'm thankful. The Lord has used so many people in my life to make me smile, encourage my heart, and just to be there as a friend.

I'm thankful for my Pastor, his wife, and my church family at BSBC. I feel like I have a great big family through my church. I love the teens, and the special place that many of the girls have in my heart. I'm thankful for their passion for Christ, their love for me, and for the way they make me laugh.

I'm often amazed at just how incredibly the Lord has blessed me. There are times when I take His blessings for granted, but I don't know why. I lack nothing. Wow. Of course I'm thankful for my house, car, clothes, and such. When it comes down to it, though, I'm thankful because I'm "filled up." The Lord has given me every good thing.

If you're reading this, it's very possible that I'm thankful for YOU!!!

2005-11-14T00:17:00.000-05:00

"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth will I cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge." ~ Psalm 61:1-3

"Code Blue, Code Blue, The Dog Has Nipped the Child!"

2005-11-14T00:12:00.000-05:00

SPECIAL AGENT ADAMS!

Ladies Retreat 2005

2005-11-11T23:02:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd write a bit about the ladies retreat. It was a fun time of fellowship with my sisters from BSBC, as well as other churches throughout Ohio. Susan Johnson was the speaker, and she has such a tender heart for Jesus Christ. She is an awesome teacher! I think many women felt like she was speaking right to their own individual heart!

The day before the retreat she called me and said that she needed me to bring an outfit so that I could dress up as a young Jewish woman. Notice that I said she "told" me, not "asked"! :) I told her it was out of my comfort zone, and she just laughed! Well.. I was up front, dressed as a Jew, with other women in various costumes and I can't remember what she said, but Susan called attention to me. Yep, you guessed it, my face was instantly red. She of course commented on that, and it got more red! I wanted to crawl in a hole. Susan was "proud" of me for being willing to be stretched. I do have to say that the Lord has used Susan to bring me out of my comfort zone on more than one occasion. If it's from Him, it's got to be a good thing. "A God thing", as Susan would say.

So anyway, the second session addressed "What does fear look like?" I don't really think of myself as someone with many fears, and I don't worry a lot. It's amazing, though, how our great God can bring to light areas of sin. I became aware of some areas of my life where fear is very much there. I like to be in control of certain things because I'm afraid of what may happen if I'm not.

I've been very emotional lately, but I was actually pretty non-emotional at the retreat. Some women were very brave and transparent, and I just didn't want to be that way. I'm actually really confused about something, and I could've shared how my heart is reacting. I'm also unsure of who God wants me to be in regard to transparency with women outside of a few who actually beg for my transparency:) ! Is this making ANY sense?

I desperately want to spend some quality time with the Lord this weekend, and completely open my heart to Him.

By the way, the BSBC girls continue to minister to my heart. I'm so thankful for your constant encouragement. I feel loved.

I'm Back!

2005-11-10T00:36:00.000-05:00

I don't know how he did it, but I think Clint fixed my blog problem! Yay!! It feels good to be able to post again. Although I am very sad that my long post to the BSBC girls got lost. You all have your letters now, though, and I hope you realize how much you mean to me.

It was so neat last night because I was feeling sad, and Becks didn't even know that, and she sent this IM that said "I love you!" I told her that I really needed to hear that, and then she started firing Bible verses off one after another. It was so cool because every verse penetrated deep into my heart. They turned my eyes back to Christ and the words were exactly what I needed at the moment! God is so awesome!! When I went to bed last night, my heart was overwhelmed with the emotions I've been feeling, and the outpouring of love from my Jesus. (Through Becky!) I honestly cried myself to sleep. I don't think I've done that since I was little! And Becky has continued to encourage me today with the words to His Eye Is On The Sparrow, a big hug, and warm smiles. Thank you Becks!! Oh, and thank you for leaving "I love Kristen Adams" as your away message last night. AWWWWW.

Tomorrow begins our ladies retreat. My friend and mentor, Susan, called me yesterday and asked me to pray over the phone. It was neat to hear her desires for the retreat and all of the women who will be there. I felt like my heart became more focused, and I'm confident that God is going to refresh and renew the hearts of His women.

Pray for Clint the next couple of days!! He's going to have a lot to handle with the kids and work. He is a wonderful husband and daddy!

So happy to be able to post!!! Comment!!

2005-11-03T16:42:00.000-05:00

I heard somewhere that randomness is a virtue . . and I'm glad, because I'm planning on this post being rather random!

First of all, I've been meaning to write about The Amazing Race. It's been my all-time favorite show for over a year, but this time I've had a really hard time getting "attached" to one team. Okay, I know that I said the boy from the Gaghan family was a little geeky, but I totally take that back! If there was one really cool team, it was the Gaghan's. Those kids were awesome! They never complained!! And the parents were so encouraging to the children. Well, as many of us know, they were eliminated. I've seen a lot of teams that I like get eliminated, but there was something about watching that precious little Carissa fight back her tears. Yes, so I sat on my bed and cried like a baby. I told Clint "Now if that doesn't just tug at your heart strings!" Clint and I are aspiring Amazing Racers! So keep watching, ya never now, you may hear "Clint and Kristen, you are team number one!"

Now, another thing I want to write about is youth night. I've been so challenged by the devotions about media. Next week I'm teaching about scary movies, and such. I hope it goes well, and that we, as a group, will conitinue to be challenged to be completely set apart for Christ. Last night at youth night I had a major stomach ache, so if you're a BSBC teen, and you read this, I'm sorry if I seemed weird. It started to hurt at home before church, but it just kept building and right before song time I got this sharp pain (I actually doubled over!). After that, I felt so out of it. I'm fine now though. :)

I absolutely love the song "How Great is Our God." I walk around singing the chorus all of the time. There's just something about that song that FIXES my eyes on Christ and makes me stand in awe of Him. Our God IS so great!!

Time to move on. Have a happy day!

Karlee Grace

2005-11-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

I love this picture. Just wanted to share! She keeps me busy. :)

It's a COFFEE night!!

2005-11-01T21:10:00.000-05:00

My first trip to a coffee shop after the weather turns cold is a momentous occasion! Tonight it is cold and rainy, my kids are very, very loud, and since I'm getting my hair cut in Kent, I asked Vicki to go to Susan's Coffee&Tea with me. Coffee shops are cool any time of the year, but there's something about sitting all cozy on a cold night, sharing heart to heart with Vicki. Especially at Susan's. I have so many awesome memories spent there during my college years. I spent countless hours in that little coffee shop with all kinds of different people. Leigh-Ann, remember when you invited me there to talk after Clint and I got engaged? Clint and I even planned a lot of our wedding at Susan's. I went upstairs to throw on an oversized sweatshirt, just because it fits my mood. Kristen, bless her heart, is coming to stay with Cuyler and Karlee. Katie has gymnastics, and Clint and Bobby are going to the Y to buff up. Take note, erhembree. Hee-hee. Vicki is such a nice friend to go with me because she has things to do, and even though I knew that, I decided to tempt her with my invitation. Time to go!

Teen Retreat 2005!!

2005-10-31T18:57:00.000-05:00

Yes, the retreat was AWESOME!! I had a blast hanging out with the group. You all add so much joy to my life. Becks, you are quite the mimic when it comes to commercials for items that are normally not discussed. Hee-hee. I honestly laughed myself to sleep Friday night. Elizabeth, thanks for teaching me to shoot hoops. That was fun. I thought the spirit of the entire group was sweet and edifying. I'll forever consider it an honor to be involved in the teen ministry. I'm so encouraged by the desire I see in the BSBC teens to "follow Jesus" closely and relate to Him intimately. And, Clint, you really are a FANTASTIC leader . . for all of us. You did a great job pulling the retreat together. I admire your love for the youth ministry. Yet, you balance it so well with the other areas of your life. Like you said Saturday night, "How did we leave our kids? They're so cute!" You're such a wonderful husband and daddy. Jesus has blessed me so much!

Speaking of blessings, I have a new friend. Hi, Sandy! :) She is a sweet, encouraging, kind woman of God! If you were to meet her, you'd love her!

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD (SING WITH ME)
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD (ALL WILL SEE)
HOW GREAT, HOW GREAT
IS OUR GOD

I love my Jesus.

Window To My Heart

The 'Hood - Part One Million

How well do you know me?

KATIE WROTE A SONG!

Life Rolls Along

Day 10

My Voice

i meant to say WARRIOR princess!

yes, mommy, i AM a princess!

Hiking Pics!

When the going gets tough, the tough hit the trail!

This & That

In The 'Hood

Surprise!!

It's official .. I'm prissy!

MY THORN

# 103

Cool Kids!

Home Alone

Boo-Hoo's part 2

My Boo-Hoo's (bear with me)

So Cute!

This & That

WOO!!

Extreme Makeover - Camp Patmos Edition

I Loooooovvvvvvvveeeee Camp Patmos!!

ugh

Katie has a BLOG!!

YO!

Clint has a BLOG!!

It's an update!!!!

STILL THE CROSS

Pressing on..

Processing ..

"This was the worst day of my life..."

**Will You Be My Valentine, Clint?**

Updation

AWESOME!!

Untitled :)

"As a reflection of God's glory, why not:

Words of Wisdom :)

Tehehe

Can't Sleep!

OUCH!!

My days..

Hmmmmm .. Pointless!

BOBBY AND KRISTEN

~The BSBC Youth Group~

~My Church Family~

~My Mom~

~Cuyler Allen~

~My Dad~

~Brittany H.~

~Twila~

AUDREY & ELIZABETH

~Audrey~

~Vicki~

~Jason~

~Katie Lore~

~Chantelle~

~Clint~

~Ross~

~Karlee Grace~

~Susan~

~My Extended Family~

~Sandy~

~Elizabeth~

~Leigh-Ann~

BECKY AND EMILY ~ nine years ago :)

~Emily~

~Libby~

~Kristen~

~Tyleasha~

~Becky~

Happy Reading!

~Please Forgive Me~

THANK YOU!

About that river-crying, emotional woman...

Shout it loud..

Happy Thanksgiving!

Will You Be My Valentine, Clint?